TOLEDO, OH–Listening intently to some of his boyfriends’ friends, a local gay man was unfortunately reminded of his age as the visitors talked about the latest incidents of what some called “cancel culture.” The man then unfortunately learned of the existence of a rapper named DaBaby. Miles Allen, 39, is a little older than some… Continue reading Elderly Gay Forced To Learn Who DaBaby Is
ROCKFORD, IL–Following dozens of tweets and emails and web site refreshes, the PlayStation 5 still remains an elusive item for some, including us at QueerCoded, Inc., Headquarters. Sony has of yet refused to provide a free console. “This really, really, really, sucks,” says executive vice president of QueerCoded Gaming, Jen Durbent. “It’s not for lack… Continue reading BOGUS! QueerCoded Gaming Still Hasn’t Received A Free PS5
EUGENE, OR–Franklin Witt, 28, of Eugene, Oregon, has opinions about transgender women. And he is not afraid to say it. “Those trans activists have really gotten my suspenders twisted this time,” he says, looking up under the brim of his hat. “They are too loud and obnoxious. These men want to pee in women’s restrooms,… Continue reading Cis Man Says Things About Trans Women
TOKYO–Facing increased scrutiny, the small group of transgender athletes from around the world competing in the 2021 Toykyo Olympics come together to solidify their plans: Patience. These elite athletes plan to bide their time until they can utterly dominate the Olympics. The specifics of the timeline, from decades to hundreds of years, remains under wraps… Continue reading OLYMPIC SPECIAL: Trans Athletes Bide Time Until Utter Domination!
SHEBOYGAN, WI–Aaron Garver considers himself a bit of a heavy metal aficionado, specifically of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal variety. So, it seemed a bit strange that Mr Garver posted openly about Rob Halford’s marital status on Facebook. “I mean, deffo some chick would totally love him. Why isn’t he married yet. I… Continue reading Area Man Somehow Still Unaware Singer From Judas Priest Is Gay
OKALLA, PA–Following a lifetime of work and after his tragic demise at the hands crushed under a pile of frozen peas, the comedian Mark “Longitude” Lounge left fans with a vast catalogue of work spanning years. He also left behind a history of being a real piece of shit. “Wow, Mark,” said producer Kyle Burns,… Continue reading Beloved Comedian And Writer Dies, Was A Real Piece Of Shit
MADISON, WI–Self-proclaimed gender critical radical feminist Kristy Johnson declared that she was done mincing words with who’s she called “trans activists.” “These trans activists have had their hands in everything. Really the only thing that can remain firmly in what a woman has is motherhood. That can only be accomplished now by us, the real… Continue reading TERF Tattoos Uterus on Face
BURLINGTON, VT–After saying something that she thought to be profound, a local woman has found herself refuted by science. Trans Woman, Ashley Smith, stated on social media that, “Being trans is the least interesting thing about me.” Two hours later, her statement was refuted by a scientist who had submitted her findings to the prestigious… Continue reading Trans Woman: “Being Trans Is Least Interesting Thing About Me.” Scientists: “Not So Fast.”
Catastrophic Drop In Gay in 2021 CHICAGO–Judging by the pride parade this year in Chicago, the amount of Gay in the United States has not stopped its previous ascent, but the numbers tell a different story. The level of Gay has dropped to below 2008 levels in the past year, mostly accounting to the Coronavirus… Continue reading BY THE NUMBERS: Gay Hits Decade Low Due To Coronavirus
OMAHA, NE — Recovering from a significant amount of stuffing loss, 35-year-old Theodore “Teddy” Ruxpin detailed his accident involving large agricultural machinery that happened last Tuesday. “It hurts,” he said, rubbing his paw on one of the 34 separate stitches now holding his stuffing in, “I’ve been working, ya know. Odd jobs. This one comes in.… Continue reading Teddy Ruxpin Who Survived Corn Detasseler Accident Describes Ordeal
