Britney Spear’s legal fight to exit her father’s conservatorship on her has been making the headlines lately. This has promoted many people to question the necessity of the arrangement, noting the singer appears to be in a much more stable place than when the conservatorship started. It’s also caused others to even question if the… Continue reading Top Eight Celebrities who Need Conservators More Than Britney Spears
TOKYO–Facing increased scrutiny, the small group of transgender athletes from around the world competing in the 2021 Toykyo Olympics come together to solidify their plans: Patience. These elite athletes plan to bide their time until they can utterly dominate the Olympics. The specifics of the timeline, from decades to hundreds of years, remains under wraps… Continue reading OLYMPIC SPECIAL: Trans Athletes Bide Time Until Utter Domination!
SHEBOYGAN, WI–Aaron Garver considers himself a bit of a heavy metal aficionado, specifically of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal variety. So, it seemed a bit strange that Mr Garver posted openly about Rob Halford’s marital status on Facebook. “I mean, deffo some chick would totally love him. Why isn’t he married yet. I… Continue reading Area Man Somehow Still Unaware Singer From Judas Priest Is Gay
Oy Vey! Another day, another homophobe caught on a gay dating app! This time, it’s Jewish psychologist Norman Goldwasser of Florida, and the Jewish Queer community wants bupkis to do with this guy! This pisher had the inexplicable chutzpah to run a conversion therapy camp. Goldwasser was kibitzing with LGBTQ teens about how to become… Continue reading Oy Gevalt! Jewish Conversion Therapy Counselor Actually Ekht Feygeleh!
OKALLA, PA–Following a lifetime of work and after his tragic demise at the hands crushed under a pile of frozen peas, the comedian Mark “Longitude” Lounge left fans with a vast catalogue of work spanning years. He also left behind a history of being a real piece of shit. “Wow, Mark,” said producer Kyle Burns,… Continue reading Beloved Comedian And Writer Dies, Was A Real Piece Of Shit
Despite advances in human rights in recent decades, LGBTQ+ people are still a largely oppressed group. Straight people, often jealous of our sweet, sweet oppression, are always finding ways to cash in on that envious desire to have their existence debated. That’s why local, cisgender, heterosexual male, Jacob Lang, has come out as a Sapiosexual. … Continue reading BREAKING: Sapiosexual Actually Classist, Elitist Misogynist
MADISON, WI–Self-proclaimed gender critical radical feminist Kristy Johnson declared that she was done mincing words with who’s she called “trans activists.” “These trans activists have had their hands in everything. Really the only thing that can remain firmly in what a woman has is motherhood. That can only be accomplished now by us, the real… Continue reading TERF Tattoos Uterus on Face
Local comedian an aspiring writer Megan Jones just finished a late-night packet. For those not “in the know,” a packet is a sample collection of monologue jokes, field pieces, sketches, etc. that comedians submit to be considered for writers’ room jobs on late night shows. These shows are hosted by famous people such as Stephen… Continue reading Local Writer Submits Materials for Show that Airs Way Past Bedtime.
MILWAUKEE, WI–An associate editor of the news site Queercoded is in the hospital today after over-doing it with Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough Bites. The bites are pieces of the cookie dough commonly used in the famous pair’s ice cream, but sold individually in the frozen section. The editor in question is believed to have… Continue reading Queercoded Editor Overdoses on Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough Bites
TALLAHASSEE, FL- Citing unfair biological advantages, Tallahassee dork, Mildred Van Snoot has petitioned the state legislature to ban coordinated students from competitive sports. “My daughter has missed out on important athletic scholarships, scholarships that would have changed her life, based solely on her inability to run in a straight line, throw a ball, or stand… Continue reading Dweeb Moves to Ban Athletes From Competition
