Fashion · Sexuality

Aspiring Lesbian Actor Wants “Gay Haircut”; Can’t Afford New Headshots

Local femme Leslie Kipling is having trouble meeting women. Her matches on dating apps don’t usually flourish beyond a few text exchanges, Covid concerns keep Leslie out of gay bars, and she can’t seem to attract other queer women in the wild because, as she’s been told, she doesn’t “look gay.” To combat this issue… Continue reading Aspiring Lesbian Actor Wants “Gay Haircut”; Can’t Afford New Headshots

Lifestyle · Nature · Opinion · Science · Sexuality

“Why is Sexual Orientation Brought into EVERYTHING,” Says Conservative After Rainstorm.

Rita Cooper was just trying to drive home from work on a rainy day. As the local, conservative woman accelerated her pickup truck onto the freeway ramp, she couldn’t believe what she saw – a giant, gleaming rainbow right over the traffic-filled road. There it was, coming down loudly from the sky, right in the… Continue reading “Why is Sexual Orientation Brought into EVERYTHING,” Says Conservative After Rainstorm.

Celebrities · Sexuality · Uncategorized

Poor People Need to Fuck Extra-Terrestrials As Well

VULCAN, CANADA- Pop singer Demi Lovato recently, among other things, released a new line of vibrating sex toys called the “Demi Wand”. The vibrators, which retail for $79, and are suitable not only humans but also creatures from other planets who have traveled to Earth looking for freaky inter-species sex. However, this price point is… Continue reading Poor People Need to Fuck Extra-Terrestrials As Well