We can finally finish what we started: The Year of the Jeopardy! Gay!” said a spokesperson for all gays everywhere. “May we continue to dominate!”
We all know rule 34 of the internet. “If you can think of it, there IS porn of it!” Well, maybe we don’t ALL know the rule, but Ted Cruz sure does! When Criticizing Disney’s opposition to Florida’s “don’t say gay” bill, Ted Cruz lamented that we would now have to see cartoons of ”Mickey… Continue reading Ted Cruz Demands Exclusively Heterosexual Disney Porn
SAN FRANCISCO–The artform and social experience of comedy, a celebration of the surprising and absurd which has been a part of human behavior for all of its recorded history, was declared officially dead today by Kevin Miller, a 26 year old engineer who has never participated in it. “Wow, I guess you’re not allowed to… Continue reading “You Can’t Even Tell Jokes Now” Says Man Who Couldn’t Tell Jokes Before
HOLLYWOOD, CA–Tonight is the Night! The Oscars! The ACADEMY AWARDS! Local lesbian/movie fan Jessica Zhang wanted to watch a few Best Picture contenders before the big night, and, as a member of the LGBTQ community, she had heard Power of the Dog described as a “gay Cowboy movie.” “That sounds awesome,” said Zhang, who had… Continue reading Local Woman Wonders When “Power of the Dog” Gets Gay.
AUSTIN, TX – Texas has been a hotbed of transphobia lately…and always! Governor Greg Abbott’s latest transphobic tantrum comes in the form of attacking trans youth, going so far as to investigate supportive parents for child abuse. According to republicans like Abbott, basic medical care and saving kids’ lives is “monstrous” and must be stopped.… Continue reading Joe Biden Giving Texas Until the Count of 3 to Stop Attacking Trans Kids or ELSE!
You know you messed up when you’re an LGBTQ icon, but even the community isn’t rooting for you! That’s the situation in which musician/scammer Todrick Hall found himself after leaving the Big Brother House. Well, we are still unsure if Todrick is aware that he did anything wrong. Upon leaving the house, where he was… Continue reading Todrick Hall Shocked to Learn “Big Brother” Cameras Actually Always Rolling.
When Lydia’s husband/Gillian’s step-father, who wishes not to be named, suggested meatloaf, Lydia snapped back that meatloaf “was just bunless burgers” and called him a “useless idiot.”
NEW YORK- The board of the LGBT community called a press conference yesterday in order to announce their yearly list of objects and ideas which are gay now. The conference drew a broad audience of gay people looking for things to post about online and cishet people looking for what to avoid, but not because… Continue reading LGBT Community Presents Latest List of Objects, Ideas Which Are Gay
NEWPORT, RI– Local trans guy and barista Max Governor has discovered the secret to eternal youth – shaving. Customers at his coffee shop are astonished, and jealous, of the change. “It’s amazing; I wish I could take years off like that myself,” says local Book Group attendee Sue Armstrong. “I keep buying these overpriced creams… Continue reading Trans Guy Takes 15 Years off His Appearance In 5 Minutes! Find Out His Secret! (Spoiler: He Shaved)
Max has considered thinking about exercising. Maybe. The idea has crossed their mind several times now. Lucas reports that they’ve almost taking up running several times in the past several years. At LEAST four times.