The last post on this site was made in 2023. Since then, it’s mostly gathered dust. However, due to some work behind the scenes, things will be changing, slowly. Really, I don’t have an agenda for this. But, the thing is, I don’t fucking know anymore. The world is wildly screwed and really, I want… Continue reading Is this thing on?
THE RIVER STYX, HELL–After the disastrous excursion of the submersible known as Titan, QueerCoded correspondent Charles Darwin was able to catch up with Stockton Rush, former owner of the private company OceanGate and Captain of Titan. A transcript follows: Transcript Charles Darwin: Good day! I must say that it is quite an honor to meet… Continue reading Exclusive Interview: Sub Captain Stockton Rush in Hell
Editors note: Periodically we have submissions from those with competing views. As a balanced news source, we feel the need to share those views with our readership. by Brett Pettifogger, Esq. Today, I’m going to unfurl a fresh piece of jurisprudence – “Stranger’s Rights”. This groundbreaking theory seeks to protect the delicate sensitivities of modern… Continue reading The Other Side of the Aisle: Stranger’s Rights!
ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, IL— Following right-wing agitators being whiny little bitches about American super-box chain Target selling LGBT+ branded merchandise again this year, Target has folded to pressure and is pulling some but not all of their queer-money-baiting merchandise. Reportedly, they’ve even come up with a less-controversial replacement: merch promoting white pride. “We want to do… Continue reading Target Replaces Queer Pride Merchandise with White Pride
ALLIGATOR CANYON, FL— Florida Dictator Governor Rhonda Santis has signed a new law stating that everyone must use the bathroom that corresponds with whatever bullshit the delivery doctors spouted, regardless of gender identity, what official documents state, appearance, or biological realities of the people in question. The law applies to restrooms in government-run areas, such… Continue reading Top 11 Safe Places to Pee in Florida
In a groundbreaking move to cure all societal ills, Nebraska’s Governor Pillen has signed a law that will ban all treatments for gender dysphoria in the Midwest. The legislation, dubbed the “Just Pick a Side Already Act,” is the brainchild of the governor’s personal council of wizards, who assured him that this was the fastest… Continue reading Nebraska Does Something Terrible To Trans People, Again
This Cyber Monday, treat yourself to the latest in luxuries to help deal with the collapse of society.
INDIANAPOLIS, IN–In an attempt to reconnect to a flagging fan-base and declining revenue, NASCAR has prepared made a fundamental change to the sport, literally turning everything around. In the past, cars have made left turns in circles throughout the races. However, starting in 2024, cars will be made to turn right in order to appeal… Continue reading NASCAR Makes All Cars Turn Right in Nod to Conservative Fans
KANSAS CITY, MO–Settling down after a long day at work, a local woman suddenly found a cat sitting on her lap. It had been years, but finally her roommate’s cat has deemed her worthy. Stacey Brennan, 25, was at first startled and then slowly came to enjoy the bundle of orange warmth that seemed to… Continue reading Finally! Cat Has Deemed Woman Worthy
DES MOINES, IOWA– After paying for her meal at a food truck, a local woman was forced to confront some deeply seated feelings when she found herself face to face with a man. It was in this moment, that the woman, 41 year old Robin Flynn, endured a terrifying realization that she was finding a… Continue reading Woman Endures Terrifying Realization She Found a Man Attractive
