In a groundbreaking move to cure all societal ills, Nebraska’s Governor Pillen has signed a law that will ban all treatments for gender dysphoria in the Midwest. The legislation, dubbed the “Just Pick a Side Already Act,” is the brainchild of the governor’s personal council of wizards, who assured him that this was the fastest… Continue reading Nebraska Does Something Terrible To Trans People, Again
JEFFERSON CITY, MO–A long and contentious debate in the Missouri House of ended with a partisan vote to adopt a measure that appears to ban puberty for all individuals under the age of 25. House Member Jason Bean, who has nothing suspicious in his Google search history, introduced the bill to widespread condemnation. However, an… Continue reading Missouri Moves to Ban Puberty for Individuals Under 25
ENTIRE UNITED STATES – “Well fuck that shit,” the LGBT community declared as one this Friday. The exclamation, which came in response to the news of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, has been the largest of many recent instances of the community coming together to express disdain for a recent political event. Roe… Continue reading “Well, Fuck That Shit,” says LGBT community
We can not, under any circumstances, let children know that the arts are an option, let alone a potentially lucrative one.
WASHINGTON DC–Supporters of LGBT equality notched a much-needed win May 3rd, when a leaked draft of a Supreme Court decision revealed the country is finally going to be oppressing straight people for once. “Frankly, I just couldn’t be happier about this,” commented LGBT advocate and activist Cynthia Montoya. “America has a long history of excluding… Continue reading Equality Win! Government Makes Life Worse For Straight People For Once
TOPEKA, KS–It’s not even the end of the school year, but teens are already looking forward to next year and a new trend is already emerging.
We all know rule 34 of the internet. “If you can think of it, there IS porn of it!” Well, maybe we don’t ALL know the rule, but Ted Cruz sure does! When Criticizing Disney’s opposition to Florida’s “don’t say gay” bill, Ted Cruz lamented that we would now have to see cartoons of ”Mickey… Continue reading Ted Cruz Demands Exclusively Heterosexual Disney Porn
SALT LAKE CITY, UT–In a surprising but welcome turn, Republican Governor Spencer Cox of Utah, vetoed a law banning trans athletes from competing in girls’ sports. Cox believes the bill needlessly targets youth who already had to live in Utah. “The dead-eyed freaks of this burned wasteland elected me to mitigate the pain of living… Continue reading Governor Vetos Anti-Trans Law, Claims Living In Utah Already Oppressive
DES MOINES, IOWA – Although most of the response has surrounded its effects on trans students and athletes, the recent Iowa bill which bans trans women from women’s sporting events has further controversial content. An amendment, added in the Senate and reconciled after the House passed it, establishes for the first time that dogs cannot… Continue reading Iowa Trans Athlete Ban Also Says Dogs Can’t Play Basketball
Tallahassee, FL — On the heels of Florida’s controversial “Don’t Say Gay” law, the Florida state legislature is considering a historic “Don’t Say Clitoris” Law. The law would ban the, “discussion of the clitoris and any other lady parts – except for boobs – in any public or private venue that may make men feel… Continue reading Florida Moves Ahead with ‘Don’t Say Clitoris’ Law
