Think about it, there are some people that are not really into people. They say they are happiest alone or with a book. But are they really? If they read so much, don’t they see that the Internet is full of articles about how to not be so introverted. There is no helping them. Can… Continue reading Extroverted? Here’s 6 Tips on Pretending to be Quiet and Reflective
SYRACUSE, NY–Citing new stressors, labor union Consolidated Fiends 203rd, is considering striking from their jobs. The union said that monsters demand better working conditions or they will walk off the job by mid July. “It’s quite disturbing, what some of our people go through. We have some creatures with PTSD from what they’ve seen going… Continue reading Monsters Under Bed Demand Better Working Conditions
MIDLOTHIAN, IL–Failing is never on anyone’s agenda, but for two friends, Alex Riley and Tony Carrick, failure hit the the duo hard after their career in podcasting. The duo’s podcast, “Hangin’ With Alex and Tony” ended after two episodes. The two cited creative differences. “I mean, when we started this,” Carrick said, “Alex was so… Continue reading Podcast Ends After 2 Episodes
CAMBRIDGE, MA–Neurologists at the Harvard Neurological Overlap Lab have made a startling discovery that threatens to upend decades of research into how the mind works. Using state-of-the-art radioisotope imaging combined with the latest in electron ptychographic reconstruction, scientists discovered that human orgasms brainwaves are entirely composed of the J.G. Wentworth Jingle. The lead scientist, Dr.… Continue reading BREAKING: Scientists Decode Orgasm Brain Waves Are Mostly The J.G. Wentworth Jingle
WASHINGTON DC–Celebrating what appears to be the end of a legal battle dating back years, Gavin Grimm, now 20, had only one thing on his mind. “I gotta piss,” he said. Grimm had sued a Virginia school board about the policy of preventing transgender students from using the restroom that corresponded to their particular gender.… Continue reading Gavin Grimm, After Holding It Since 2015, Finally Can Pee
CELESTIAL DOMAIN, HEAVEN–Celebrating Pride Month, the Lord High God issued several decrees. God gave three new rules for humanity, “Hi! So, a few things then I’ll let you get back to your pride month celebrations. So first thing, please stop doing terrible things and blaming me for it, okay? It’s kind of a bummer. Second… Continue reading God Declares Tucker Carlson Gay
TOLEDO, OH–Upon completion of years of dedicated research into the LGBTQ community in and around Toledo, Ohio, a local scientist announced their findings to a shocked group of their colleagues. Doctor Sam Gurak summed up their 100 page scientific report in two words,”Aiden sucks.” The findings were devastating and a complete surprise to the subject… Continue reading Report: Aiden Sucks
SALT LAKE CITY, UT–Reminding players that, yes, this game was still coming out eventually, Avalanche Studios announced a surprising addition to the game Hogwarts Legacy, an MMORPG. A spokeswoman for the studio announced that after working closely with author J.K. Rowling, they would be adding a new house to Hogwarts, the House of TERF, in… Continue reading WOW: Hogwarts Legacy Adds Mysterious Fifth “House Of TERF” To Game
BATAVIA, IL–Harnessing the power of Internet Discourse, scientists made a breakthrough that could power hundreds of homes and businesses in the Chicago-land area. Scientists have discovered a way to generate electricity from Internet Discourse. Speaking from Fermilab, Dr. Ade Ron Collider delivered his findings on a live stream, seemingly proving his hypothesis in real time.… Continue reading Scientists Generate Electricity From The Discourse
LONDON–Iconic luxury fashion house Jimmy Choo has announced a collaboration with actor and activist Billy Porter to offer a new line of shoes. The iconic silhouettes come with bold colors and animal print in extended sizes to champion both of their goals of inclusivity and start at $650 US a pair. The luxury Jimmy Choo… Continue reading Billy Porter, Jimmy Choo, Offer Range Of Shoes In Extended Sizes, Prices
