Lifestyle · Pop Culture

Literal Piece of Shit to Release Netflix Comedy Special

LOS GATOS, CA–In the recent notices about Netflix’s July offerings, there’s one stand out stand-up special that has all the audiences talking. After taking a brief respite during pride month in June by releasing material from Robin Tran and Jaye McBride, Netflix announced that they will release a special entitled “Flushed” by a comedian who… Continue reading Literal Piece of Shit to Release Netflix Comedy Special

Lifestyle · Politics

Equality Win! Government Makes Life Worse For Straight People For Once

WASHINGTON DC–Supporters of LGBT equality notched a much-needed win May 3rd, when a leaked draft of a Supreme Court decision revealed the country is finally going to be oppressing straight people for once. “Frankly, I just couldn’t be happier about this,” commented LGBT advocate and activist Cynthia Montoya. “America has a long history of excluding… Continue reading Equality Win! Government Makes Life Worse For Straight People For Once

Politics · Queer Coded

Ted Cruz Demands Exclusively Heterosexual Disney Porn

We all know rule 34 of the internet. “If you can think of it, there IS porn of it!” Well, maybe we don’t ALL know the rule, but Ted Cruz sure does! When Criticizing Disney’s opposition to Florida’s “don’t say gay” bill, Ted Cruz lamented that we would now have to see cartoons of ”Mickey… Continue reading Ted Cruz Demands Exclusively Heterosexual Disney Porn

Comedy

“You Can’t Even Tell Jokes Now” Says Man Who Couldn’t Tell Jokes Before

SAN FRANCISCO–The artform and social experience of comedy, a celebration of the surprising and absurd which has been a part of human behavior for all of its recorded history, was declared officially dead today by Kevin Miller, a 26 year old engineer who has never participated in it. “Wow, I guess you’re not allowed to… Continue reading “You Can’t Even Tell Jokes Now” Says Man Who Couldn’t Tell Jokes Before

movies · Pop Culture

Local Woman Wonders When “Power of the Dog” Gets Gay.

HOLLYWOOD, CA–Tonight is the Night! The Oscars! The ACADEMY AWARDS! Local lesbian/movie fan Jessica Zhang wanted to watch a few Best Picture contenders before the big night, and, as a member of the LGBTQ community, she had heard Power of the Dog described as a “gay Cowboy movie.” “That sounds awesome,” said Zhang, who had… Continue reading Local Woman Wonders When “Power of the Dog” Gets Gay.

News Shorts · Politics · Sports

Governor Vetos Anti-Trans Law, Claims Living In Utah Already Oppressive

SALT LAKE CITY, UT–In a surprising but welcome turn, Republican Governor Spencer Cox of Utah, vetoed a law banning trans athletes from competing in girls’ sports. Cox believes the bill needlessly targets youth who already had to live in Utah. “The dead-eyed freaks of this burned wasteland elected me to mitigate the pain of living… Continue reading Governor Vetos Anti-Trans Law, Claims Living In Utah Already Oppressive

Science · Sports

“Trans People Are So Sensitive” Says Athlete Who Cried After Losing Literal Game.  

BLACKSBURG, VA – You hear cries of unfairness all the time! “Trans people are ruining sports!” Or rather, trans women. For SOME REASON, nobody seems to care about trans men in men’s sports, but that’s an issue for a different day! The goal of any sport is to be the best…unless you’re trans, in which… Continue reading “Trans People Are So Sensitive” Says Athlete Who Cried After Losing Literal Game.