News Shorts

Journalist Justifies Transphobia With His Weird Ass Porn Collection

WASHINGTON D.C. — A journalist, while having lunch with a colleague, scrolled through his personal cloud-based storage collection of 1.23 terabytes of transgender pornography, narrating what he saw. Wednesday, Jesse Señalar, 40, insisted his transphobic writings are justified with the perversions portrayed in his personal pornography collection. Señalar, who works as a “journalist” who primarily… Continue reading Journalist Justifies Transphobia With His Weird Ass Porn Collection

Politics

Missouri Moves to Ban Puberty for Individuals Under 25

JEFFERSON CITY, MO–A long and contentious debate in the Missouri House of ended with a partisan vote to adopt a measure that appears to ban puberty for all individuals under the age of 25. House Member Jason Bean, who has nothing suspicious in his Google search history, introduced the bill to widespread condemnation. However, an… Continue reading Missouri Moves to Ban Puberty for Individuals Under 25

Lifestyle · Sports

NASCAR Makes All Cars Turn Right in Nod to Conservative Fans

INDIANAPOLIS, IN–In an attempt to reconnect to a flagging fan-base and declining revenue, NASCAR has prepared made a fundamental change to the sport, literally turning everything around. In the past, cars have made left turns in circles throughout the races. However, starting in 2024, cars will be made to turn right in order to appeal… Continue reading NASCAR Makes All Cars Turn Right in Nod to Conservative Fans

List

Housewarming Gifts for Friend Who Moved 3 Times This Year Already

If it’s not one thing it’s another with your friend, Axel. You got them a new blender in February, a duvet in May, and in September, they’re moving again! What can you get them this time? It’s time for a list: The top 5 housewarming gifts for that special friend. Plastic Totes The humble tote, is… Continue reading Housewarming Gifts for Friend Who Moved 3 Times This Year Already

Lifestyle · Sexuality

Woman Endures Terrifying Realization She Found a Man Attractive

DES MOINES, IOWA– After paying for her meal at a food truck, a local woman was forced to confront some deeply seated feelings when she found herself face to face with a man. It was in this moment, that the woman, 41 year old Robin Flynn, endured a terrifying realization that she was finding a… Continue reading Woman Endures Terrifying Realization She Found a Man Attractive

Nature

Local Queer Just Wants Someone to Actually go Camping With

OREGON, ILLINOIS– Local queer Zak Johansson is really excited about all the recent talk on social media about camping. Posts and searches for “camping” have skyrocketed since last Thursday, and Zak is hoping this means they can find people to share a tent with on an upcoming trip. “It’s just, you know, so hard usually… Continue reading Local Queer Just Wants Someone to Actually go Camping With

Politics

“Well, Fuck That Shit,” says LGBT community

ENTIRE UNITED STATES – “Well fuck that shit,” the LGBT community declared as one this Friday. The exclamation, which came in response to the news of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, has been the largest of many recent instances of the community coming together to express disdain for a recent political event. Roe… Continue reading “Well, Fuck That Shit,” says LGBT community

Lifestyle · Pop Culture

Literal Piece of Shit to Release Netflix Comedy Special

LOS GATOS, CA–In the recent notices about Netflix’s July offerings, there’s one stand out stand-up special that has all the audiences talking. After taking a brief respite during pride month in June by releasing material from Robin Tran and Jaye McBride, Netflix announced that they will release a special entitled “Flushed” by a comedian who… Continue reading Literal Piece of Shit to Release Netflix Comedy Special