Target Replaces Queer Pride Merchandise with White Pride
Fashion · Lifestyle

Target Replaces Queer Pride Merchandise with White Pride

Josh

ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, IL— Following right-wing agitators being whiny little bitches about American super-box chain Target selling LGBT+ branded merchandise again this year, Target has folded to pressure and is pulling some but not all of their queer-money-baiting merchandise. Reportedly, they’ve even come up with a less-controversial replacement: merch promoting white pride. “We want to do… Continue reading Target Replaces Queer Pride Merchandise with White Pride

Lifestyle

Top 11 Safe Places to Pee in Florida

Josh

ALLIGATOR CANYON, FL— Florida Dictator Governor Rhonda Santis has signed a new law stating that everyone must use the bathroom that corresponds with whatever bullshit the delivery doctors spouted, regardless of gender identity, what official documents state, appearance, or biological realities of the people in question. The law applies to restrooms in government-run areas, such… Continue reading Top 11 Safe Places to Pee in Florida

Nebraska Does Something Terrible To Trans People, Again
Lifestyle · Politics

Nebraska Does Something Terrible To Trans People, Again

Apple Nerdly

In a groundbreaking move to cure all societal ills, Nebraska’s Governor Pillen has signed a law that will ban all treatments for gender dysphoria in the Midwest. The legislation, dubbed the “Just Pick a Side Already Act,” is the brainchild of the governor’s personal council of wizards, who assured him that this was the fastest… Continue reading Nebraska Does Something Terrible To Trans People, Again

Journalist Justifies Transphobia With His Weird Ass Porn Collection
News Shorts

Journalist Justifies Transphobia With His Weird Ass Porn Collection

Ed.

WASHINGTON D.C. — A journalist, while having lunch with a colleague, scrolled through his personal cloud-based storage collection of 1.23 terabytes of transgender pornography, narrating what he saw. Wednesday, Jesse Señalar, 40, insisted his transphobic writings are justified with the perversions portrayed in his personal pornography collection. Señalar, who works as a “journalist” who primarily… Continue reading Journalist Justifies Transphobia With His Weird Ass Porn Collection

Missouri Moves to Ban Puberty for Individuals Under 25
Politics

Missouri Moves to Ban Puberty for Individuals Under 25

Ed.

JEFFERSON CITY, MO–A long and contentious debate in the Missouri House of ended with a partisan vote to adopt a measure that appears to ban puberty for all individuals under the age of 25. House Member Jason Bean, who has nothing suspicious in his Google search history, introduced the bill to widespread condemnation. However, an… Continue reading Missouri Moves to Ban Puberty for Individuals Under 25

NASCAR Makes All Cars Turn Right in Nod to Conservative Fans
Lifestyle · Sports

NASCAR Makes All Cars Turn Right in Nod to Conservative Fans

Ed.

INDIANAPOLIS, IN–In an attempt to reconnect to a flagging fan-base and declining revenue, NASCAR has prepared made a fundamental change to the sport, literally turning everything around. In the past, cars have made left turns in circles throughout the races. However, starting in 2024, cars will be made to turn right in order to appeal… Continue reading NASCAR Makes All Cars Turn Right in Nod to Conservative Fans

Housewarming Gifts for Friend Who Moved 3 Times This Year Already
List

Housewarming Gifts for Friend Who Moved 3 Times This Year Already

Ed.

If it’s not one thing it’s another with your friend, Axel. You got them a new blender in February, a duvet in May, and in September, they’re moving again! What can you get them this time? It’s time for a list: The top 5 housewarming gifts for that special friend. Plastic Totes The humble tote, is… Continue reading Housewarming Gifts for Friend Who Moved 3 Times This Year Already

Woman Endures Terrifying Realization She Found a Man Attractive
Lifestyle · Sexuality

Woman Endures Terrifying Realization She Found a Man Attractive

Ed.

DES MOINES, IOWA– After paying for her meal at a food truck, a local woman was forced to confront some deeply seated feelings when she found herself face to face with a man. It was in this moment, that the woman, 41 year old Robin Flynn, endured a terrifying realization that she was finding a… Continue reading Woman Endures Terrifying Realization She Found a Man Attractive