News Shorts · Opinion

Cis Man Says Things About Trans Women

Man thinks you should know his thoughts.

EUGENE, OR–Franklin Witt, 28, of Eugene, Oregon, has opinions about transgender women. And he is not afraid to say it.

“Those trans activists have really gotten my suspenders twisted this time,” he says, looking up under the brim of his hat. “They are too loud and obnoxious. These men want to pee in women’s restrooms, and I think that’s just not safe for women.”

Katrina Barker, an editor at the popular feminist web site “CHICK STUFF,” was skeptical when Witt sent in his pitch. But ultimately she was persuaded by his dapper appearance.

“We have spent many years giving voices to oppressed women; I figured it was time to let men have their voice in our site.”

A meeting with Trans Activist, Diane Wilson, highlighted the disagreement.

“What are you talking about? I’m a barista. Not an activist.”

“Classic TIM line,” Witt retorts and cackles. “Biology is destiny.”

Wilson then rolled her eyes.

“Can’t debate science with disdain,” Witt said. “Gimme a triple caramel Mochiwhatto with whip cream, a dash of half and half and 3, no, 4 sugars.”

Wilson typed the order into the register.

Barker says that her decision to publish Witt’s piece was not based at all on any transphobia. “I have trans friends. I mean, not one of those weird ones with the gender neutral pronouns. That’s just ungrammatical. I should know; I’m an editor.”

There has been a large number of cis gendered (people who identify as the gender they were assigned at birth) people who have thought recently it was lucrative to posit opinions on transgender people. The number of cis gendered editors willing to pay cis writers has only grown. The market for trans writers about trans topics remains small.

The discussion continued at the meeting between Witt and Wilson.

Wilson asked Witt, “Can I do anything else for you, sir?”

“Admit that you’re a man!”


“The customer is always right.”

“Sir. The total is $7.25. Please swipe your Caf-fiend Reward card on the keypad.”

“I forgot my card. Can you look it up for me?”

“Of course. Can I get your phone number?”

He yelled, “I don’t want to sleep with you! I’m attracted to vaginas only! I demand to speak to your manager.”

Wilson went to get her manager. Witt thumbed the trigger on his vape rig. “So presumptuous. Like, how does she know I want to have sex with her?”