AUSTEN, TX- Local right-wing radio listeners this evening are mourning the loss of radio personality Stanley “Shoot ‘Em Up” Simmons, who died of Covid. He follows a string of other prominent conservative voices, who have railed against Covid precautions and are dying at an alarming rate. “All according to plan,” states liberal strategist Serena Munson.… Continue reading Liberal’s Nefarious Pandemic Plot Going to Plan
BEVERLY HILLS, CA- A month after Caitlyn Jenner lost her bid for governor of California, Queer Coded editors notice that, well, Caitlyn Jenner lost her bid for governor of California a month ago. “No one’s really surprised she lost,” says Californian political pundit Jay Munsey. “Who even supported her? Not pro-trans people, not anti-trans people.… Continue reading Jenner’s Gubernatorial Hopes Go Down In Flames; No One Cares
LOS ANGELES- TERFs all over the US and the UK today are welcoming their latest, and most unexpected member, comedian Dave Chappelle. The comedian has generated a lot of controversy in his latest standup special The Closer, in which he makes a number of statements considered transphobic. In particular, he addresses the most famous TERF… Continue reading TERFs Welcome Dave Chappelle with Open Arms
LOS ANGELES, CA- After the release of the the trailer for the latest Matrix movie, “Matrix Resurrections”, renewed attention has come out for the original trilogy. The focus is increasingly on how the directors the Wachowski sisters’ trans identities shaped the mythology of the movies. One holdout remains against this interpretation of the popular movies.… Continue reading Ben Shapiro Fails to Understand “The Matrix”
EVANSTON, IL- Local leftist high schooler Allisa Lawrence has lately been giving her unvaccinated family members earfuls about “trusting in science,” encouraging them to get over their “irrational” beliefs and just get the shot for fuck’s sake. She continuously posts links to numerous scientific studies on Facebook that she may or may not have read… Continue reading “Trust in Science,” says Leftist who knows little about Science
CINCINNATI, OH- Citing several popular YouTube channels, a group of surgeons known as Committee of MedICal Surgeons Against Nose Suffocation have come out against wearing face masks while performing the most difficult of procedures. “Surgeons have been safely performing surgeries for years while wearing masks, but with all these self-appointed experts who can’t handle wearing… Continue reading Mask-Free Operating Rooms Coming Soon?
LOUDON COUNTY, VA- Teacher Laura Morris made headlines recently when she dramatically quit rather than refer to trans students by their true names. While sobbing, she quoted her “believe in Christ” as justification for misgendering students, and railed against the schools for not letting her be sufficiently transphobic. As for her students, they’re overwhelmingly approving… Continue reading Teacher quits rather than call trans students by their names; Students say “Good”
SALEM, MA- Ghost hunters around the country are all reporting a curious phenomena. Not only are hauntings up dramatically, but over the last year, there has been a sharp rise in hauntings where the ghosts involved would shout “Freedom”. A cause for this is still being investigated. “Well, it started just as soon as my… Continue reading Paranormal Experts Agree: Sharp Rise in Ghosts Shouting “Freedom!”
Britney Spear’s legal fight to exit her father’s conservatorship on her has been making the headlines lately. This has promoted many people to question the necessity of the arrangement, noting the singer appears to be in a much more stable place than when the conservatorship started. It’s also caused others to even question if the… Continue reading Top Eight Celebrities who Need Conservators More Than Britney Spears
MILWAUKEE, WI–An associate editor of the news site Queercoded is in the hospital today after over-doing it with Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough Bites. The bites are pieces of the cookie dough commonly used in the famous pair’s ice cream, but sold individually in the frozen section. The editor in question is believed to have… Continue reading Queercoded Editor Overdoses on Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough Bites
