MILWAUKEE, WI–An associate editor of the news site Queercoded is in the hospital today after over-doing it with Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough Bites. The bites are pieces of the cookie dough commonly used in the famous pair’s ice cream, but sold individually in the frozen section. The editor in question is believed to have “inhaled” an entire bag, and is now being treated with fluids and rest until their stomach calms down, though it is possible that one lung will permanently be half-filled with cookie dough.
Ben & Jerry’s has been in the news repeatedly in the last few days, due to them stating they will no longer sell their products in Israeli-occupied Palestine. The company, who’s founders are Jewish, has been accused of being antisemitic by people completely incapable of distinguishing criticism of Israel and criticism of Judaism.
When the editor was asked if their choice in dessert was at all inspired by recent news reports about Ben & Jerry’s, the editor stated, “Well, I saw that in the news, yes, but truthfully they just made me hungry. Would I do it again? Absolutely.”
The editor’s colon could not be reached for comment before press time.