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Teacher quits rather than call trans students by their names; Students say “Good”

LOUDON COUNTY, VA- Teacher Laura Morris made headlines recently when she dramatically quit rather than refer to trans students by their true names. While sobbing, she quoted her “believe in Christ” as justification for misgendering students, and railed against the schools for not letting her be sufficiently transphobic. As for her students, they’re overwhelmingly approving of her resignation.

“She would always call me Brian,” says trans student Celeste Harding in Morris’s third-period History class. “The weird thing is. Brian isn’t even what my name used to be. She didn’t really care enough to even learn the right wrong name to use.”

“She refused to call me by my chosen name as well,” says non-binary fourth-period student Praxis Jones. “And I’m not even sure she knows what Praxis means but try telling her anything.”

“She wouldn’t call me by the name my parents gave me at birth,” says cis student Xiaolin Wu. “She told me it was too complicated and would just call me “Sarah” or “that Asian girl”. She seemed to think the only real names were found in the Bible.”

Other students reported issues with her that had nothing to do with their names. “She would mark me off on assignments for pointing out the founding fathers weren’t all Christian, and she hated when I mentioned they owned slaves,” says fifth period student Meghan Elliot. “I’m also the one who told her who Sally Hemings is and she doesn’t believe me.”

“She took my phone away for recording her once say the Civil War was not fault over slavery,” says sixth-period student Jon Johnson. “But I was still able to share her on TikTok and got three thousand views.”

“I’m just hoping our substitute teacher doesn’t start crying all the time. Like, one time she asked the class why we felt God created women, and Sonya told her God doesn’t exist, and she melted down and sent Sonya to the principal’s office. It was supposed to be sex Ed!”

Word is still out on what Laura Morris is going to do now that she’s left teaching, but she’s reportedly been considering becoming a missionary in Uganda. She was overheard saying it’s the only place left with sane LGBT-related policies.