Author: Josh

Target Replaces Queer Pride Merchandise with White Pride
Fashion · Lifestyle

Target Replaces Queer Pride Merchandise with White Pride

Josh

ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, IL— Following right-wing agitators being whiny little bitches about American super-box chain Target selling LGBT+ branded merchandise again this year, Target has folded to pressure and is pulling some but not all of their queer-money-baiting merchandise. Reportedly, they’ve even come up with a less-controversial replacement: merch promoting white pride. “We want to do… Continue reading Target Replaces Queer Pride Merchandise with White Pride

Lifestyle

Top 11 Safe Places to Pee in Florida

Josh

ALLIGATOR CANYON, FL— Florida Dictator Governor Rhonda Santis has signed a new law stating that everyone must use the bathroom that corresponds with whatever bullshit the delivery doctors spouted, regardless of gender identity, what official documents state, appearance, or biological realities of the people in question. The law applies to restrooms in government-run areas, such… Continue reading Top 11 Safe Places to Pee in Florida

Local Queer Just Wants Someone to Actually go Camping With
Nature

Local Queer Just Wants Someone to Actually go Camping With

Josh

OREGON, ILLINOIS– Local queer Zak Johansson is really excited about all the recent talk on social media about camping. Posts and searches for “camping” have skyrocketed since last Thursday, and Zak is hoping this means they can find people to share a tent with on an upcoming trip. “It’s just, you know, so hard usually… Continue reading Local Queer Just Wants Someone to Actually go Camping With

Trans Guy Takes 15 Years off His Appearance In 5 Minutes! Find Out His Secret! (Spoiler: He Shaved)
Health

Trans Guy Takes 15 Years off His Appearance In 5 Minutes! Find Out His Secret! (Spoiler: He Shaved)

Josh

NEWPORT, RI– Local trans guy and barista Max Governor has discovered the secret to eternal youth – shaving. Customers at his coffee shop are astonished, and jealous, of the change. “It’s amazing; I wish I could take years off like that myself,” says local Book Group attendee Sue Armstrong. “I keep buying these overpriced creams… Continue reading Trans Guy Takes 15 Years off His Appearance In 5 Minutes! Find Out His Secret! (Spoiler: He Shaved)

Fuck it, I guess I have to go on Joe Rogan’s Podcast
Celebrities · Lifestyle · Opinion

Fuck it, I guess I have to go on Joe Rogan’s Podcast

Josh

THE MIDWEST SOMEWHERE, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT- As controversy swirls around renegade podcaster Joe Rogan’s $100 million deal with Spotify, one Queer Coded editor is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice – he’s willing to appear on his podcast. “So I saw Rogan’s statement about his Covid denying nonsense, where he said he should have… Continue reading Fuck it, I guess I have to go on Joe Rogan’s Podcast

Anti-Vaxxer Sues Parents for Vaccinating Her Against Polio As a Child
Science

Anti-Vaxxer Sues Parents for Vaccinating Her Against Polio As a Child

Josh

MEMPHIS, TN– Terry McKinnon, local wine mom and Instagram user, has filed a suit against her parents for 42 years ago vaccinating her against measles, polio, and a host of other diseases commonly vaccinated against as a child. “I mean, I love my parents, but I can’t let this slide!” Says McKinnon, while rearranging her… Continue reading Anti-Vaxxer Sues Parents for Vaccinating Her Against Polio As a Child

Wait, Are We Going to War With Russia Or Not?
Politics

Wait, Are We Going to War With Russia Or Not?

Josh

STERLING, IL– Local lawyer and CNN junkie Laura Ashland is in a state of confusion. After days of the news hyping up a possible confrontation between the US and Russia over Ukraine, the topic has been seemingly completely dropped in favor of Justice Breyer’s impending retirement. “We’ve had days, DAYS, of being told Russia is… Continue reading Wait, Are We Going to War With Russia Or Not?

Covid Needs to End So I Can Finally Get My Tits Removed
Lifestyle · Pandemic

Covid Needs to End So I Can Finally Get My Tits Removed

Josh

TULSA, OK–Local trans guy Matt Theman laments the Omicron surge in his area and around the world as only he can. “Of course it’s awful, and needs to end, if for no other reason but that I need to have top surgery.” “Like, when ever I see idiots without masks, I want to scream at… Continue reading Covid Needs to End So I Can Finally Get My Tits Removed