AMES, IA– Local queer person Lynx Harris recently discovered the term “Aegosexual”, and immediately connected with it. The term, which refers to people on the asexual spectrum who have a disconnect with the object of sexual attraction and themselves, happens to describe perfectly what Lynx has been unable to express in their life, but is… Continue reading Queer Person Tired of Having More Stuff to Come Out As
LOS ANGELES, CA– “A person who identifies as a woman despite their chromosomes or genital configuration,” is a Jeopardy question that has stumped many transphobes, who are just proving they would be absolutely crushed if they had to go against current Jeopardy champion Amy Schneider. Schneider, who recently became the first woman to break $1,000,000… Continue reading “What is a woman?” And Other Jeopardy Questions Transphobes Can’t Answer
DAVENPORT, IA– “Nobody wants to work anymore,” laments call center director Doug Osborne. “We pay $10! That’s more than minimum wage! People should be thanking me; they’re so ungrateful. They can’t even be bothered to show up to work. What are they doing? Spending time with family? Pisgah, how does that help anyone?” “When I… Continue reading For As Little as I’m Paying People; You Would Think They Could Show Up To Work More
It’s a new year, but the world is crumbling down around you. What do you do? Luckily we have everything figured out! Just follow all of these tips!
WAUSAU, WI– The question on everyone’s lips is what is in the pants of local non-binary firebrand Praxis Jones. And the answer is, to what should not be much of a surprise, it’s a Colt 45. “Be the change in the world you want to see,” says Jones, who sports long, purple hair, a coat… Continue reading We Found Out What’s In This Enby’s Pants — It’s a Gun
Lizards 2. Selfie stick 3. Weapons with which to rise up against the patriarchy 4. Button maker 5. Tea Kettle 6. Uranium 7. Bees 8. Space Lazer 9. Vests 10. Private Island in the Caribbean
MINNEAPOLIS, MN– The holiday season is upon us, and it’s a time for families around the country to get together and celebrate, and drunkenly argue about politics and minor personal squabbles while trying to pretend they don’t all hate each other. However, just like last year, a little issue called “the pandemic” is keeping some… Continue reading Covid Is An Excuse for Queers to Avoid Their Families
VULCAN, CANADA- Pop singer Demi Lovato recently, among other things, released a new line of vibrating sex toys called the “Demi Wand”. The vibrators, which retail for $79, and are suitable not only humans but also creatures from other planets who have traveled to Earth looking for freaky inter-species sex. However, this price point is… Continue reading Poor People Need to Fuck Extra-Terrestrials As Well
KENOSHA, WI- After a memorable trial and massive amounts of media coverage, 17 year old wannabe terrorist/freedom fighter Kyle Rittenhouse has been declared not guilty of murder on the basis of self-defense. Rittenhouse is still guilty of being a horrible human being, however, a fact that is apparently not against the law. “This is America,… Continue reading Breaking: Kyle Rittenhouse found not guilty of murder; guilty of being a total peice of shit
We at Queer Coded believe no topics should be off topic. Freedom of speech is of the utmost importance, in particular our right to say whatever the hell we want to say at any time. We are particularly fond of making fun of Caitlyn Jenner, despite being thoroughly tired of her. As such we would… Continue reading “All The Balls in the Manatee Pool” – Making Sure Everyone is Made Fun Of
