Crime · Politics

BREAKING: Governor Ron DeSantis Provides Guidence To Florida School Districts On “Those Kids”

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Following the lack of speed with which the “Don’t Say Gay” bill has driven all of those nasty gays and trans-ies out of existence (or at least out of state), Gov. Ron Desantis and the Florida Department of Education are pleased to provide the following guidance to all Florida schools. Schools are… Continue reading BREAKING: Governor Ron DeSantis Provides Guidence To Florida School Districts On “Those Kids”

Lifestyle · Queer Coded

LGBT Community Presents Latest List of Objects, Ideas Which Are Gay

NEW YORK- The board of the LGBT community called a press conference yesterday in order to announce their yearly list of objects and ideas which are gay now. The conference drew a broad audience of gay people looking for things to post about online and cishet people looking for what to avoid, but not because… Continue reading LGBT Community Presents Latest List of Objects, Ideas Which Are Gay

Fashion · Sexuality

Aspiring Lesbian Actor Wants “Gay Haircut”; Can’t Afford New Headshots

Local femme Leslie Kipling is having trouble meeting women. Her matches on dating apps don’t usually flourish beyond a few text exchanges, Covid concerns keep Leslie out of gay bars, and she can’t seem to attract other queer women in the wild because, as she’s been told, she doesn’t “look gay.” To combat this issue… Continue reading Aspiring Lesbian Actor Wants “Gay Haircut”; Can’t Afford New Headshots

Fashion · Music · Pop Culture

BREAKING: Country Music Super Gay Now

If there is one thing gay people definitely aren’t watching, it’s the CMA awards. This year, that’s unfortunate, because at the Country Music Awards featured a VERY IMPORTANT GAY KISS last week. And that kiss changed EVERYTHING, we guess!  Here’s what went down at Wednesday’s ceremony: T.J. Osborne, of the Brothers Osborne, a band we… Continue reading BREAKING: Country Music Super Gay Now

Lifestyle · Pop Culture

“You Don’t Have To Make Everything Gay,” Says Het, Cis Man

SAN ANTONIO, TX–In yet another example of the internet spreading misinformation, cisgender and heterosexual Twitter user “@Coolgamer6327” claimed Monday that gay people “don’t have to make everything gay”, demonstrating his blissful unawareness of the Curse. LGBT community leaders responded to the tweet by staring wistfully into the distance, mournfully recalling the days when they too… Continue reading “You Don’t Have To Make Everything Gay,” Says Het, Cis Man

Food · News Shorts

Homophobic Remark Sees Net Profit Of $4500

MADISON, WI–Examining the receipt of a credit card customer, local waiter Ivan Dreyer discovered a rude note on it and no tip. The receipt said that there was no tip because Dreyer was a “sinfull [sic] homosexual.” “That’s ridiculous,” Dreyer said. “It is. My husband and I have been married since it was legal and… Continue reading Homophobic Remark Sees Net Profit Of $4500

Lifestyle · Music

Area Man Somehow Still Unaware Singer From Judas Priest Is Gay

SHEBOYGAN, WI–Aaron Garver considers himself a bit of a heavy metal aficionado, specifically of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal variety. So, it seemed a bit strange that Mr Garver posted openly about Rob Halford’s marital status on Facebook. “I mean, deffo some chick would totally love him. Why isn’t he married yet. I… Continue reading Area Man Somehow Still Unaware Singer From Judas Priest Is Gay

By The Numbers · Lifestyle · News Shorts

BY THE NUMBERS: Gay Hits Decade Low Due To Coronavirus

Catastrophic Drop In Gay in 2021 CHICAGO–Judging by the pride parade this year in Chicago, the amount of Gay in the United States has not stopped its previous ascent, but the numbers tell a different story. The level of Gay has dropped to below 2008 levels in the past year, mostly accounting to the Coronavirus… Continue reading BY THE NUMBERS: Gay Hits Decade Low Due To Coronavirus