COOPER HILLS, CA–Citizens of Cooper Hills California can rest easy tonight as sources confirm their resident bisexual remains sufficiently queer by dating a trans man. The controversy began when local bisexual, Kirsten Cho, was seen holding hands with what appeared to be a white het cis male Thursday afternoon. When questioned, Cho identified the man… Continue reading Tensions Ease as Bisexual Woman’s Boyfriend is Confirmed Trans
TARRE HAUTE, IN–Announcing a major breakthrough, a team of leading researchers at Indiana State University made waves as they stood in front of the collected faculty. They determined that a woman on the internet knows she is fat. The woman, who they identified as only Patient Mae, is overweight and knows it. “It was a… Continue reading Scientists Report: Woman On Internet Knows She’s Fat.
OPEN LETTER: Hey, Frank, we were watching you speed-run through the Cayo Perico heist on GTA5: Online. And seriously that was some really good playing, but I gotta ask you one small favor. Can you please wear underwear next time? It’s not that I’m a prude or that you’re gross but it’s just that you… Continue reading HEY FRANK: We Know The Next Gen Graphics Are Amazing But Please Wear Underwear While Streaming
JACKSONVILLE, FL–Floundering in his single preseason game appearance, the former quarterback turned broadcaster turned baseball player turned some-other-position-on-a-football-team, Tim Tebow has been released by the Jacksonville Jaguars. When interviewed about his supposed favorite football player, God suggested that maybe Tebow should have taken the hint a few years back. “You see, I don’t pay much… Continue reading Jacksonville Jaguars Cut Tim Tebow, God Refuses To Help Him
LOUDON COUNTY, VA–A teacher who publicly claims to worship El Eyo, The Most High, Adonai, The Holy Spirit, The Trinity of the Divine dramatically quit her job in front of her local school board to protest an updated LGBT+ policy that asks for trans pupils to be called by their preferred names, their actual human… Continue reading That’s The Name of The Game
LOUDON COUNTY, VA- Teacher Laura Morris made headlines recently when she dramatically quit rather than refer to trans students by their true names. While sobbing, she quoted her “believe in Christ” as justification for misgendering students, and railed against the schools for not letting her be sufficiently transphobic. As for her students, they’re overwhelmingly approving… Continue reading Teacher quits rather than call trans students by their names; Students say “Good”
CITY NAME TBD, COUNTRY NAME TBD – Despite a very-much-active pandemic still raging, the worlds’ top athletes came together in Tokyo for the Olympic Games, which ended Sunday. The event proved to be a successful two weeks for the LGBTQ community! The news was filled with headlines highlighting the accomplishments of the queer community –… Continue reading BREAKING: Queer Community Forms Sovereign Nation, Plans to Compete in 2024 Olympics
TOLEDO, OH–Listening intently to some of his boyfriends’ friends, a local gay man was unfortunately reminded of his age as the visitors talked about the latest incidents of what some called “cancel culture.” The man then unfortunately learned of the existence of a rapper named DaBaby. Miles Allen, 39, is a little older than some… Continue reading Elderly Gay Forced To Learn Who DaBaby Is
ROCKFORD, IL–Following dozens of tweets and emails and web site refreshes, the PlayStation 5 still remains an elusive item for some, including us at QueerCoded, Inc., Headquarters. Sony has of yet refused to provide a free console. “This really, really, really, sucks,” says executive vice president of QueerCoded Gaming, Jen Durbent. “It’s not for lack… Continue reading BOGUS! QueerCoded Gaming Still Hasn’t Received A Free PS5
EUGENE, OR–Franklin Witt, 28, of Eugene, Oregon, has opinions about transgender women. And he is not afraid to say it. “Those trans activists have really gotten my suspenders twisted this time,” he says, looking up under the brim of his hat. “They are too loud and obnoxious. These men want to pee in women’s restrooms,… Continue reading Cis Man Says Things About Trans Women
