Cisgender Expo Unveils Newest Absolute Nonsense Trans People Have To Take Seriously 

News Shorts

Cisgender Expo Unveils Newest Absolute Nonsense Trans People Have To Take Seriously 


Lillie Franks

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Trans people across the world let out a collective sigh this week as the Cisgender Expo in Washington D.C. revealed the latest absolute nonsense they have to take completely seriously now. The yearly conference for people who identify as the gender they were assigned at birth has served as a space to debut and… Continue reading Cisgender Expo Unveils Newest Absolute Nonsense Trans People Have To Take Seriously 


Local Woman Prepares To Re-Watch Favorite Show From The 00’s
Lifestyle · Pop Culture

Local Woman Prepares To Re-Watch Favorite Show From The 00’s

Ed.

FAYETTEVILLE, AR–Sensing a bit of a low feeling in her life, a local transgender woman is considering re-watching one of the shows she enjoyed most pre-transition, a moderately successful NBC sitcom named 30 Rock. The re-watch of one of her favorite TV shows comes at a point where Diane Whyte cannot quite remember all the… Continue reading Local Woman Prepares To Re-Watch Favorite Show From The 00’s

Queer Coded Media Announces Distributed Print Edition
Business · News Shorts · Queer Coded

Queer Coded Media Announces Distributed Print Edition

Ed.

ROCKFORD, IL–Following a successful launch in April of this year, a local company is prepared to bring back print news to the state-line region. Queer Coded Media, LLC, is pleased to announce a print edition utilizing a innovative distributed model. Editor in Chief, Jen Durbent, stated, “There’s nothing better than the tangible feeling of reading… Continue reading Queer Coded Media Announces Distributed Print Edition

A lady sits at a typewriter creating groundbreaking pornographic films BREAKING: Struggling Screenwriter Segues into Porn
Lifestyle · News Shorts · Pop Culture

BREAKING: Struggling Screenwriter Segues into Porn

Alex Seligsohn

Lottie Durham has been working on a screenplay for years. Several, in fact. She’s drafted a sci-fi murder mystery that takes place on Uranus. She wrote a lesbian, Mesozoic-era period piece. Her buddy cop comedy pairs a centaur and an anthropomorphic cactus. But for SOME REASON, Hollywood won’t give her a million dollars and a… Continue reading BREAKING: Struggling Screenwriter Segues into Porn

Local School District Saves Millions By Addressing Trans People Properly
News Shorts · Politics

Local School District Saves Millions By Addressing Trans People Properly

Ed.

GALVESTON, TX–Following a series of lawsuits, a Galveston School District 302 has determined that it would be less costly to merely address students as requested rather than to continue to litigate the cases in court. And in doing so, the local school district is claiming it will save millions of dollars by addressing transgender people… Continue reading Local School District Saves Millions By Addressing Trans People Properly

“You Don’t Have To Make Everything Gay,” Says Het, Cis Man
Lifestyle · Pop Culture

“You Don’t Have To Make Everything Gay,” Says Het, Cis Man

Lillie Franks

SAN ANTONIO, TX–In yet another example of the internet spreading misinformation, cisgender and heterosexual Twitter user “@Coolgamer6327” claimed Monday that gay people “don’t have to make everything gay”, demonstrating his blissful unawareness of the Curse. LGBT community leaders responded to the tweet by staring wistfully into the distance, mournfully recalling the days when they too… Continue reading “You Don’t Have To Make Everything Gay,” Says Het, Cis Man

Homophobic Remark Sees Net Profit Of $4500
Food · News Shorts

Homophobic Remark Sees Net Profit Of $4500

Ed.

MADISON, WI–Examining the receipt of a credit card customer, local waiter Ivan Dreyer discovered a rude note on it and no tip. The receipt said that there was no tip because Dreyer was a “sinfull [sic] homosexual.” “That’s ridiculous,” Dreyer said. “It is. My husband and I have been married since it was legal and… Continue reading Homophobic Remark Sees Net Profit Of $4500

Astrophysics In Turmoil At New Evidence Regarding Time And Charlie Watts’ Death
Music · Science

Astrophysics In Turmoil At New Evidence Regarding Time And Charlie Watts’ Death

Ed.

GENEVA–Physicists around the world looked at TV screens absorbing the news; there has been a long held belief that the easy questions were answered, that there was nothing obvious left and that all the new physics was full of theory and massive super colliders. However, astrophysicists were shaken to the ground when the news was… Continue reading Astrophysics In Turmoil At New Evidence Regarding Time And Charlie Watts’ Death

a hot person LGBTQ Community’s Preemptive Request: LEAVE CARA ALONE!
Celebrities · Fashion · Music · Pop Culture

LGBTQ Community’s Preemptive Request: LEAVE CARA ALONE!

Alex Seligsohn

You know Cara Cunningham. You love her. You may remember her from the cinematic masterpiece “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE.” Well, Cara came out as trans and has begun her transition, and we couldn’t be happier for her! While coming out as trans is a huge accomplishment, and should be a moment of pride, we also know… Continue reading LGBTQ Community’s Preemptive Request: LEAVE CARA ALONE!