Celebrities · Politics · Pop Culture

Millennials Turn Against Environment At Bill Maher’s Urging

LOS ANGELES–Following one of Bill Maher’s “New Rules” Segments, the entire Millennial Generation found themselves unable to argue against the comedian’s bulletproof logic and decided to descend into hedonism. Specifically, Maher’s observation that Greta Thunberg had fewer followers on social media than Kim Kardashian led a number of millennials determining that the environment was already… Continue reading Millennials Turn Against Environment At Bill Maher’s Urging

News Shorts · Politics

Senator Josh Hawley Encourages Traditional Male Activities Like Poetry, Alchemy, Sodomy

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Citing video games, pornography, and idleness as portents of danger in American Life, Senator Josh Hawley placed the blame squarely on people who criticize masculinity. The senator said, “[A]fter years of being told they are the problem, that their manhood is the problem, more and more men are withdrawing into the enclave of idleness… Continue reading Senator Josh Hawley Encourages Traditional Male Activities Like Poetry, Alchemy, Sodomy

News Shorts · Politics

Queen Elizabeth Expands British Empire, Claiming Terflandia

LONDON–Expecting to die soon, Queen Elizabeth looked to solidify her legacy which has lasted since before World War II until she witnessed the rapid decline of the United States. The Queen announced her United Kingdom would annex the Isle of Terflandia. The newly deemed protectorate is the first new land since relinquishing Hong Kong in… Continue reading Queen Elizabeth Expands British Empire, Claiming Terflandia

News Shorts · Politics

TERFs Object to Women Being Categorized As People

LONDON–Despite widespread attacks on reproductive justice, a raging global pandemic, and a rising ocean, Gender Critical women across the world remain committed to fighting the real atrocity of our times. They will not allow their pregnant cisters to be referred to as people. After the US Supreme Court voted to uphold a draconian Texas law… Continue reading TERFs Object to Women Being Categorized As People

Pandemic · Politics

Liberal’s Nefarious Pandemic Plot Going to Plan

AUSTEN, TX- Local right-wing radio listeners this evening are mourning the loss of radio personality Stanley “Shoot ‘Em Up” Simmons, who died of Covid. He follows a string of other prominent conservative voices, who have railed against Covid precautions and are dying at an alarming rate. “All according to plan,” states liberal strategist Serena Munson.… Continue reading Liberal’s Nefarious Pandemic Plot Going to Plan

Celebrities · Politics

Jenner’s Gubernatorial Hopes Go Down In Flames; No One Cares

BEVERLY HILLS, CA- A month after Caitlyn Jenner lost her bid for governor of California, Queer Coded editors notice that, well, Caitlyn Jenner lost her bid for governor of California a month ago. “No one’s really surprised she lost,” says Californian political pundit Jay Munsey. “Who even supported her? Not pro-trans people, not anti-trans people.… Continue reading Jenner’s Gubernatorial Hopes Go Down In Flames; No One Cares

News Shorts · Politics

“Vote Blue No Matter Who” A Smashing Success At Disappointing Democratic Voters

WASHINGTON D.C.–Announcing that nothing will ever get better, Senate and House Democrats have announced that their agenda was implemented as they had envisioned. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said at a press conference, “We have reached our goals and we are proud to announce that we have disappointed America yet again. It was a smashing success!… Continue reading “Vote Blue No Matter Who” A Smashing Success At Disappointing Democratic Voters

News Shorts · Politics

Local School District Saves Millions By Addressing Trans People Properly

GALVESTON, TX–Following a series of lawsuits, a Galveston School District 302 has determined that it would be less costly to merely address students as requested rather than to continue to litigate the cases in court. And in doing so, the local school district is claiming it will save millions of dollars by addressing transgender people… Continue reading Local School District Saves Millions By Addressing Trans People Properly

Lifestyle · News Shorts · Politics · Psychology · Science

Oy Gevalt! Jewish Conversion Therapy Counselor Actually Ekht Feygeleh!

Oy Vey! Another day, another homophobe caught on a gay dating app! This time, it’s Jewish psychologist Norman Goldwasser of Florida, and the Jewish Queer community wants bupkis to do with this guy! This pisher had the inexplicable chutzpah to run a conversion therapy camp. Goldwasser was kibitzing with LGBTQ teens about how to become… Continue reading Oy Gevalt! Jewish Conversion Therapy Counselor Actually Ekht Feygeleh!

News Shorts · Politics · Pop Culture

Local Writer Submits Materials for Show that Airs Way Past Bedtime.

Local comedian an aspiring writer Megan Jones just finished a late-night packet. For those not “in the know,” a packet is a sample collection of monologue jokes, field pieces, sketches, etc. that comedians submit to be considered for writers’ room jobs on late night shows. These shows are hosted by famous people such as Stephen… Continue reading Local Writer Submits Materials for Show that Airs Way Past Bedtime.