Florida Moves Ahead with ‘Don’t Say Clitoris’ Law

Old and New Florida Capitol Buildings. Source: Wikipedia.

Tallahassee, FL — On the heels of Florida’s controversial “Don’t Say Gay” law, the Florida state legislature is considering a historic “Don’t Say Clitoris” Law. The law would ban the, “discussion of the clitoris and any other lady parts – except for boobs – in any public or private venue that may make men feel uncomfortable.”

The bill has moved out of committee and is scheduled for a floor vote early next week. Activist Patrick Merrill called the bill, “A victory for all men. For too long, Hollywood Feminists, the Liberal Media and Big Pharma have pushed the clitoris hoax in an effort to attack our masculinity and shame us because we’re unable to satisfy our partners. We say ‘no more.’”

The proposed legislation is supported by a loose coalition of men from many right wing groups including Q-Anon, Anti-Vaxxers, and the Flat Earth Society. The group calls itself CLIT-ANON. One person in opposition, who chose to remain anonymous, said “they’re just real shitty husbands and boyfriends.”

Governor Ron DeSantis has neither confirmed nor denied that he would sign the bill, stating that if it did not have enough homophobia in it, he might be convinced to send it back for additional language targeting lesbian women.

A rally in support of the proposed law was held last Saturday afternoon in Lafayette Park. Although thousands were expected, video of the rally showed attendance of approximately 23. Rally organizer, Alfred “Sigma Male” Stevens initially blamed the low turnout on, “George Soros and ANTIFA.” Later, in a private channel on Internet chat app, Telegram, Stevens admitted, “It could be that the men just couldn’t find the park.”