WASHINGTON DC–Secretary of Transportation under the Biden administration, Pete Buttigieg set tongues wagging after saying Americans should be back “cruising by the summer.” Various Democratic spokespeople have been denying that he was talking about cruising as the term is meant the gay community, where men breeze through anonymous sex with other men, but instead was… Continue reading “I said what I said,” Says Pete Buttigieg
LITTLE ROCK, AR–Nikki Jackson, 9, of Springfield had been following the Mili Hernandez incident–where an 8 year old girl was accused of “being a boy” during a soccer tournament and removed from the game–when she had an idea. She decided she would use her parents’ and coach’s fear to win their soccer tournament. She said… Continue reading Breaking: Youth Soccer Player Exploits Gender Loophole For Victory
CANCUN–Prior to mourning the death of 2 pilots, the counter for “Days Since Fatal Gender Reveal Accident” has been reset to 0. In Cancun on Monday, two pilots plunged into the waters of the Caribbean Sea during a party where the pregnant couple revealed the genital configuration of their fetus. The couple, who again hired… Continue reading Days Since Fatal Gender Reveal Party Counter Reset To 0
NEW YORK CITY- Writing in a recent report, Dr. Rhonda Raine revealed reductions of reproductive organs among children. She concluded pollution pressured and pushed precipitous proportion changes in penises and reproductive probabilities. At a press conference on Tuesday, Dr Raine said, “The data is clear. Corrupt companies, chasing capital, create copious chemical concoctions that consequently… Continue reading Report: Pollution Pressure Penis Proportions, Purportedly
HADES, THE DARK UNDERWORLD–The internet is abuzz with Lil Nas X’s music video for his latest hit “Montero (Call Me By Your Name),” and it’s also faced some heavy criticism from many sectors. The video, which shows the rapper sliding down a stripper pole to Hell, giving Satan a lap dance, snapping the Dark Lord’s… Continue reading Satan Responds to Lil Nas X’s “Montero”
SAPPORO, JAPAN–A recent court victory for proponents of same sex marriage in Japan has the queer community very excited for the future of LGBTQ rights in Japan and around the world. Arguably, no one is more excited than so-called “Weaboos”, hard-core Anime and Japanese culture fans in the West. Queer Weaboos everywhere are abuzz with… Continue reading Queer Weaboos Plan on Flocking to Japan
PITTSBURGH, PA–Seeing that mass shootings and assorted murders would continue to be a part of American life, several flag pole manufacturers have decided to adapt. Starting in April, the manufacturers would start producing half-length flag poles.
SEATTLE–Discussing push back by transgender people, two men came to conclusions that they were, in fact, supporters of trans people. They has, in fact, determined they are not transphobic. Dan Singal and Jesse Savage came to that conclusion Monday after hours of discussion and referencing respected publications. “I don’t get it. I have no… Continue reading Cis Men Determine They’re Not Transphobic
TERRE HAUTE, IN–Ending a quiet Sunday evening before getting to bed, a local man decided to a log onto social media and see what his friends were up to when he saw a post about penises on a woman’s page. Michael Clarkson, 34, decided to explain the difficulties he had peeing into a cup on… Continue reading Local Man Explains Penises To Local Woman Who Had One For 45 Years
