News Shorts

Cis Men Determine They’re Not Transphobic


SEATTLE–Discussing push back by transgender people, two men came to conclusions that they were, in fact, supporters of trans people. They has, in fact, determined they are not transphobic. Dan Singal and Jesse Savage came to that conclusion Monday after hours of discussion and referencing respected publications.

“I don’t get it. I have no problem with trans people,” Savage said.

“So long as they disclose,” said Singal.

“And don’t transition too late.”

“Or too early.”

“And they’re not too pushy about it,” said Savage.

The two men compared notes and then talked about how they are relentlessly attacked. “I just think that these athletes are really just men who want to beat up women.”

“The runner?”


“The bike lady?”

“No. No. The wrestler.”

“That was a trans guy.”

“No no no. The other one.”

“Oh! She wasn’t very good though.”

“Good enough.”

“Wait? Why can’t we just agree no sports.”

“Good for me.”

“That should be fine.”

Savage posted on his Twitter how Singal was super nice and then proceeded to block people who criticized him. “These activists. I bet they want to date me. Why can’t they date each other?”

Singal nodded.

They then discussed the respect each man had for a noted sex researcher and conversion therapy advocate. “I just think he’s neat.”