News Shorts

“I said what I said,” Says Pete Buttigieg

WASHINGTON DC–Secretary of Transportation under the Biden administration, Pete Buttigieg set tongues wagging after saying Americans should be back “cruising by the summer.” Various Democratic spokespeople have been denying that he was talking about cruising as the term is meant the gay community, where men breeze through anonymous sex with other men, but instead was referring to the cruise ship industry. However, as Buttigieg states on Twitter, “I said what I said.”

“Listen, I here am here to tell the American public of the importance of vaccines in returning to normality.” The Secretary continues. “Serial, casual sexual encounters make up a big part of American life, and getting vaccinated for Covid is just one piece of keeping everyone safe.”

“With manufacturing going abroad, gay dating apps like Grindr, Scruff make up an important part of the American economy. Condom and lube sales are dangerously low as well at the moment. We must do all we can to boost these going forward.”

“Just remember everyone,” Buttejig continues, “everyone two consenting American adults have gay sex, Matt Gaetz starts losing more hair.”

When asked what interest the Transportation department has in gay male cruising, Buttigieg pointed to the frequency of involvement in highway truck depot bathrooms.