We Found Out What’s In This Enby’s Pants — It’s a Gun

WAUSAU, WI– The question on everyone’s lips is what is in the pants of local non-binary firebrand Praxis Jones. And the answer is, to what should not be much of a surprise, it’s a Colt 45.

“Be the change in the world you want to see,” says Jones, who sports long, purple hair, a coat covered in buttons, and just a faint whisper of facial, arm, and chest hair. “I hope to inspire others like me to express themselves, and arm themselves for the coming revolution.”

“It’s not always this Colt. Sometimes it’s this cute little Derringer that I currently have stuffed into my Doc Martens. And on certain days I have my AR-15. I even have a Double Barrel sawed off shotgun. Not that I normally condone circumcision. It’s mutilation, people!”

We asked Jones if they ever USE any of these guns, but they declined to answer saying it’s “private”.