When Lydia’s husband/Gillian’s step-father, who wishes not to be named, suggested meatloaf, Lydia snapped back that meatloaf “was just bunless burgers” and called him a “useless idiot.”
NEW YORK- The board of the LGBT community called a press conference yesterday in order to announce their yearly list of objects and ideas which are gay now. The conference drew a broad audience of gay people looking for things to post about online and cishet people looking for what to avoid, but not because… Continue reading LGBT Community Presents Latest List of Objects, Ideas Which Are Gay
NEWPORT, RI– Local trans guy and barista Max Governor has discovered the secret to eternal youth – shaving. Customers at his coffee shop are astonished, and jealous, of the change. “It’s amazing; I wish I could take years off like that myself,” says local Book Group attendee Sue Armstrong. “I keep buying these overpriced creams… Continue reading Trans Guy Takes 15 Years off His Appearance In 5 Minutes! Find Out His Secret! (Spoiler: He Shaved)
Max has considered thinking about exercising. Maybe. The idea has crossed their mind several times now. Lucas reports that they’ve almost taking up running several times in the past several years. At LEAST four times.
SHERMAN OAKS, CA – Honestly, 2022 has been pretty boring for Sherman Oaks lesbian Cameron Hillman. Sure, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic, but after two years even THAT gets boring. Hillman works in sales from home, and the excitement of having free time quickly turned to boredom after so many baked goods… Continue reading Local Lesbian Becomes a “Snake Gay.”
THE MIDWEST SOMEWHERE, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT- As controversy swirls around renegade podcaster Joe Rogan’s $100 million deal with Spotify, one Queer Coded editor is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice – he’s willing to appear on his podcast. “So I saw Rogan’s statement about his Covid denying nonsense, where he said he should have… Continue reading Fuck it, I guess I have to go on Joe Rogan’s Podcast
Some cisgender people are being diagnosed with what some professionals are calling Conscription Onset Gender Disorder, or COGD
Tucker Carlson’s fury of the androgynous redesign of the Brown and Green M&M’s reportedly goes deeper than his normal performative rage, leading into a revealing look of the twisted chocolate-induced sex practices of the Fox News host.
TULSA, OK–Local trans guy Matt Theman laments the Omicron surge in his area and around the world as only he can. “Of course it’s awful, and needs to end, if for no other reason but that I need to have top surgery.” “Like, when ever I see idiots without masks, I want to scream at… Continue reading Covid Needs to End So I Can Finally Get My Tits Removed
Local femme Leslie Kipling is having trouble meeting women. Her matches on dating apps don’t usually flourish beyond a few text exchanges, Covid concerns keep Leslie out of gay bars, and she can’t seem to attract other queer women in the wild because, as she’s been told, she doesn’t “look gay.” To combat this issue… Continue reading Aspiring Lesbian Actor Wants “Gay Haircut”; Can’t Afford New Headshots
