INDIANAPOLIS, IN–In an attempt to reconnect to a flagging fan-base and declining revenue, NASCAR has prepared made a fundamental change to the sport, literally turning everything around. In the past, cars have made left turns in circles throughout the races. However, starting in 2024, cars will be made to turn right in order to appeal… Continue reading NASCAR Makes All Cars Turn Right in Nod to Conservative Fans
If it’s not one thing it’s another with your friend, Axel. You got them a new blender in February, a duvet in May, and in September, they’re moving again! What can you get them this time? It’s time for a list: The top 5 housewarming gifts for that special friend. Plastic Totes The humble tote, is… Continue reading Housewarming Gifts for Friend Who Moved 3 Times This Year Already
KANSAS CITY, MO–Settling down after a long day at work, a local woman suddenly found a cat sitting on her lap. It had been years, but finally her roommate’s cat has deemed her worthy. Stacey Brennan, 25, was at first startled and then slowly came to enjoy the bundle of orange warmth that seemed to… Continue reading Finally! Cat Has Deemed Woman Worthy
DES MOINES, IOWA– After paying for her meal at a food truck, a local woman was forced to confront some deeply seated feelings when she found herself face to face with a man. It was in this moment, that the woman, 41 year old Robin Flynn, endured a terrifying realization that she was finding a… Continue reading Woman Endures Terrifying Realization She Found a Man Attractive
OREGON, ILLINOIS– Local queer Zak Johansson is really excited about all the recent talk on social media about camping. Posts and searches for “camping” have skyrocketed since last Thursday, and Zak is hoping this means they can find people to share a tent with on an upcoming trip. “It’s just, you know, so hard usually… Continue reading Local Queer Just Wants Someone to Actually go Camping With
ENTIRE UNITED STATES – “Well fuck that shit,” the LGBT community declared as one this Friday. The exclamation, which came in response to the news of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, has been the largest of many recent instances of the community coming together to express disdain for a recent political event. Roe… Continue reading “Well, Fuck That Shit,” says LGBT community
LOS GATOS, CA–In the recent notices about Netflix’s July offerings, there’s one stand out stand-up special that has all the audiences talking. After taking a brief respite during pride month in June by releasing material from Robin Tran and Jaye McBride, Netflix announced that they will release a special entitled “Flushed” by a comedian who… Continue reading Literal Piece of Shit to Release Netflix Comedy Special
We can not, under any circumstances, let children know that the arts are an option, let alone a potentially lucrative one.
WASHINGTON DC–Supporters of LGBT equality notched a much-needed win May 3rd, when a leaked draft of a Supreme Court decision revealed the country is finally going to be oppressing straight people for once. “Frankly, I just couldn’t be happier about this,” commented LGBT advocate and activist Cynthia Montoya. “America has a long history of excluding… Continue reading Equality Win! Government Makes Life Worse For Straight People For Once
TOPEKA, KS–It’s not even the end of the school year, but teens are already looking forward to next year and a new trend is already emerging.
