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Literal Piece of Shit to Release Netflix Comedy Special

Netflix Pride LOgo

LOS GATOS, CA–In the recent notices about Netflix’s July offerings, there’s one stand out stand-up special that has all the audiences talking. After taking a brief respite during pride month in June by releasing material from Robin Tran and Jaye McBride, Netflix announced that they will release a special entitled “Flushed” by a comedian who is a literal piece of shit.

“I really think this is a great opportunity,” said the literal piece of shit, who had no corn nor any peanuts visible. “It’s cementing Netflix as a place where we can say what we mean and say it mean, as I like to say.”

A spokesman for the actual originator of the phrase, J.G. Thirwell, did not have a comment before press time.

“I’m really sick of people telling me what I can and cannot say,” said the sentient piece of fecal matter. “My idols are of course people like Gervais and Chappelle. And I have to say I bet George Carlin would agree with me.” Carlin’s spinning corpse is currently being used to power the lights of the cemetery in the vicinity of his grave.

“Like, people are so offended. And at what? They should smile. It’s kind of like when you tell a broad her tits look great and she gets pissed. I’m trying to make you feel good. It’s not my fault you can’t take a joke or a compliment.”

The comedian has his roots in the underground comedy scene in Chicago, where he made a name until, as he says, “I got cancelled. Yeah. I mean. To be fair–and I shouldn’t be–I am a literal piece of shit. I kind of have a body odor problem. Which means I couldn’t pursue my other passion, wine.”

Though that smell did not put off Netflix executives, who have practice holding their noses at questionable content. “We’re aware of the environment that we exist in and Netflix is dedicated to a diverse array of cisgender male comedians talking about transgender people. And this literal piece of shit shows that we’re not only bringing only a certain kind of person to the mic.”

The fecal funnyman’s special premiers at 12:01 on July 1, just after Netflix will revert their logo from their current LGBTQ pride colors.