Local Queer Just Wants Someone to Actually go Camping With

A rendering of what the camping trip might look like

OREGON, ILLINOIS– Local queer Zak Johansson is really excited about all the recent talk on social media about camping. Posts and searches for “camping” have skyrocketed since last Thursday, and Zak is hoping this means they can find people to share a tent with on an upcoming trip.

“It’s just, you know, so hard usually to get people interested in camping. My friends are all ‘there’s bugs’ and ‘I can’t sleep in the woods, the serial killers will get me’. It’s so discouraging. Maybe I can now find some people from other states who want to spend some time in the woods with me.”

Zak adds that they’re coordinating with people in other states to come to his native Illinois for camping. “I never really thought about how great a place Illinois is for camping, but we’ve got tons of local parks we can go to. White Pines, Starving Rock, Rock Cut, hell, even my backyard! It’s a real shame there’s all these people stuck in states like Indiana that apparently suck for camping.”

We asked Zak what activities they intend to do on camping trips. “Well, there’s just so much we could do. Hiking, kayaking, bird watching… Fishing is a possibility but I’m not too good at it personally. I’ve so far been much more interested in taking pictures of local wildlife than trying to eat it. But I’m really down to try anything at least twice.”

When it was pointed out to Zak that they might be misunderstanding the recent interest in “camping,” they countered that they did in fact, “get” it. “I mean, I know I’ll have to drive them to Planned Parenthood, and I’m all about that, but we’re making some s’mores afterwards.”