BATAVIA, IL–Harnessing the power of Internet Discourse, scientists made a breakthrough that could power hundreds of homes and businesses in the Chicago-land area. Scientists have discovered a way to generate electricity from Internet Discourse. Speaking from Fermilab, Dr. Ade Ron Collider delivered his findings on a live stream, seemingly proving his hypothesis in real time.… Continue reading Scientists Generate Electricity From The Discourse
SMITHVILLE, TN–During a show, Kid Rock had an tantrum on stage, which ended with a homophobic slur. Nobody in the audience appeared surprised. “Yeah, that seems pretty on brand for him. I’m not even sure how this is news,” commented local gay man Evan Rodriguez whose brother dragged him to the show. The rock and… Continue reading BREAKING: Kid Rock Yells Homophobic Slur During Show, Surprising Nobody
LUFKIN, TX–A local Texas bakery made headlines for their pride month cookies, and not just because the cookies were adorable and delicious. Confections Bakery in Lufkin Texas posted photos of the rainbow heart cookies on their social media pages with the message “More LOVE. Less hate. Happy Pride to all our LGBTQ friends! All lovers… Continue reading Spite Spending: The New Economic Trend In The LGBTQ Community.
LONDON–Iconic luxury fashion house Jimmy Choo has announced a collaboration with actor and activist Billy Porter to offer a new line of shoes. The iconic silhouettes come with bold colors and animal print in extended sizes to champion both of their goals of inclusivity and start at $650 US a pair. The luxury Jimmy Choo… Continue reading Billy Porter, Jimmy Choo, Offer Range Of Shoes In Extended Sizes, Prices
SILICON VALLEY, CA – It’s June and we know what month that is! Queer Capitalist Pride Month! It’s the month where harmful, exploitative corporations pander to the LGBTQ+ community by slapping a rainbow on their products and sponsored ads! While there’s a lot of dialogue out there regarding the problematic intersection of capitalism and Pride,… Continue reading 5 Ways For Corporations To ACTUALLY Help LGBTQ+ People
LOS ANGELES- In an unexplained tragedy, forty-six-year-old lesbian Carol Brown called for a “kink-free” and “family-friendly” gay pride after losing all memory of queer oppression. Brown’s symptoms became clear in a series of tweets early this morning, when she wrote “I don’t care if you’re into leather or whips or cartoon dogs, just don’t advertise… Continue reading Amnesiac Demands Kink-Free Pride
HENDERSON, NE–Queer Coded reporters caught up with Pastor James White as he canvassed his community late Sunday gathering signatures for a bill banning Absolut Vodka drinkers from using public bathrooms. “With all of the new letters they’re always adding to the LGBTQIA-whatever, it can be hard to keep up with all the new genders and… Continue reading Evangelical Pastor Moves To Outlaw Absolut Vodka Drinkers From Bathrooms After Seeing Float at Pride Parade
PALM BEACH, FL–Former president Donald Trump has closed down his blog. The 45th president’s internet presence has not been the same since his exile from social media, but his blog, which was started on May 4th, was supposed to close the gap. Less than a month later, the president has thrown in the blogging towel.… Continue reading BREAKING: Queer Coded Lasts Longer Than Trump’s Blog!
Santa Monica, CA – Recently, country music has become the genre most associated with conservatives, white people, and other heterosexual nonsense. That’s why local queer person, Jordie Asher, listens to their favorite song, “Cowboy Take Me Away” by The Chicks, in the comfort of their own hybrid vehicle (windows up). “I’m not even a big… Continue reading Queer Leftist Listens to Country Song Quietly; Avoids Being Perceived as Republican
DENVER, CO- A recent study by the University of Colorado reveals that common wisdom about the comparative cleanliness of women’s restrooms may be flawed. In terms of dirtiness, women’s bathrooms rated a 4.6 grunge factor, within the statistical margin of error from men’s bathrooms of 4.8. “I definitely was expecting more perfumed towels and less… Continue reading Study: Women’s Bathrooms No Cleaner Than Men’s Rooms
