BREAKING: Queer Coded Lasts Longer Than Trump’s Blog!

Donald Trump, Failed Blogger

PALM BEACH, FL–Former president Donald Trump has closed down his blog. The 45th president’s internet presence has not been the same since his exile from social media, but his blog, which was started on May 4th, was supposed to close the gap. Less than a month later, the president has thrown in the blogging towel.

“It’s rough out there,” he said. “Ever since Google reader went down, things have been rough out in the blog-o-sphon [sic]. But I could have handled that. After all, I stood up to those Silicon Valley tech giants and their big glasses and pants and I said, ‘Hey! You can’t do that. We won’t buy from Amazon anymore.’ And after that I never bought from Amazon again. I send my people get my food at Whole Foods because they have the best steaks better than those other steaks I used to hawk–they just stacked up in my freezer and I had to give them away and I honestly hate giving things away.”

Senior Advisor, Jason Miller admitted that the blog would be going away, but that theoretically Trump would be joining a new social media site. Mike Lindell of the My Pillow Corporation and the new Frank social media site could not be reached for comment, but some of his neighbors report that Lindell was running around his back yard yelling into his phone, “Pick me!”