SILICON VALLEY, CA – It’s June and we know what month that is! Queer Capitalist Pride Month!
It’s the month where harmful, exploitative corporations pander to the LGBTQ+ community by slapping a rainbow on their products and sponsored ads!
While there’s a lot of dialogue out there regarding the problematic intersection of capitalism and Pride, we at Queer Coded are more focused on solutions, mostly involving giving us various things. So here are 5 Small Acts we came up with for corporations to implement in order to actually help our community!
Whether through Venmo, Cash App, Zelle, or even an old-school platform like PayPal, a great way to help the LGBTQ+ community is to give us money directly. Reach out to a Local Queer to find out their preferred financial transfer app.
Despite the “queer people can’t do math” trope, you can also just hand over some cash on the street!
Don’t know any queers? Go to a local farmers market or new age store and ask around! Be careful of TERFs though.
Give Us Free Shit!
Don’t just put rainbows on all your dumb, child-labor-made shit! Send that shit to us!
The Coach Bag, the Target Pride Collection, whatever the hell Teletubbies is doing, we want it, and we want it for NO MONEY! Go to a local adult softball game with a truckload of shit and just dump it onto the foul ball area for maximum lesbian recipients.
Give Us A TV Show!
Every single one of us. What could go wrong? Own a network? Know how to pull some strings? Got a half hour block? Are you Ellen? Give us shows!
It doesn’t matter what the show is. Almost. But not just comedy or tragedy. Perhaps just throw us in to the middle of that rebooted TV show from the 80s that nobody really wanted.
Nearly all representation is good. Go to a comedy or drag show in your area’s gayest neighborhood and pick the gayest performer and say in your best old-timey voice “You got moxie kid. Stick with me. You’re gonna see your name in lights.”
What about late night Saturday on NBC? They’re not using that time slot!
Your summer home does need a bit of a sprucing up. And not to mention that you ought to give your house boats or any extra property to the queers.
Bonus points if you can find a millennial queer. Property ownership is a distant fantasy for us. Change our lives.
If you want to go the extra mile to really honor Pride Month? Give your house to a trans woman of color immediately!
Maybe you should hire more queer people. I know it’s weird, but maybe donate to an LGBTQ+ charity in September.
Write your Congresspeople. I think maybe I’m asking too much here?