NEW YORK, NY – Lil Nas X, hero of our community, was seen wearing SEVERAL, I repeat, MULTIPLE incredible outfits in just the last 24 hours alone! Outside of being unapologetically gay and hot on stage and in videos, wearing outfits is easily the LGBTQ community’s second-favorite thing Lil Nas X does! First up, at… Continue reading BREAKING: Lil Nas X Wears Several Outfits; Gays STAN!
FAYETTEVILLE, AR–Sensing a bit of a low feeling in her life, a local transgender woman is considering re-watching one of the shows she enjoyed most pre-transition, a moderately successful NBC sitcom named 30 Rock. The re-watch of one of her favorite TV shows comes at a point where Diane Whyte cannot quite remember all the… Continue reading Local Woman Prepares To Re-Watch Favorite Show From The 00’s
ROCKFORD, IL–Following a successful launch in April of this year, a local company is prepared to bring back print news to the state-line region. Queer Coded Media, LLC, is pleased to announce a print edition utilizing a innovative distributed model. Editor in Chief, Jen Durbent, stated, “There’s nothing better than the tangible feeling of reading… Continue reading Queer Coded Media Announces Distributed Print Edition
Lottie Durham has been working on a screenplay for years. Several, in fact. She’s drafted a sci-fi murder mystery that takes place on Uranus. She wrote a lesbian, Mesozoic-era period piece. Her buddy cop comedy pairs a centaur and an anthropomorphic cactus. But for SOME REASON, Hollywood won’t give her a million dollars and a… Continue reading BREAKING: Struggling Screenwriter Segues into Porn
SAN ANTONIO, TX–In yet another example of the internet spreading misinformation, cisgender and heterosexual Twitter user “@Coolgamer6327” claimed Monday that gay people “don’t have to make everything gay”, demonstrating his blissful unawareness of the Curse. LGBT community leaders responded to the tweet by staring wistfully into the distance, mournfully recalling the days when they too… Continue reading “You Don’t Have To Make Everything Gay,” Says Het, Cis Man
MADISON, WI–Examining the receipt of a credit card customer, local waiter Ivan Dreyer discovered a rude note on it and no tip. The receipt said that there was no tip because Dreyer was a “sinfull [sic] homosexual.” “That’s ridiculous,” Dreyer said. “It is. My husband and I have been married since it was legal and… Continue reading Homophobic Remark Sees Net Profit Of $4500
GENEVA–Physicists around the world looked at TV screens absorbing the news; there has been a long held belief that the easy questions were answered, that there was nothing obvious left and that all the new physics was full of theory and massive super colliders. However, astrophysicists were shaken to the ground when the news was… Continue reading Astrophysics In Turmoil At New Evidence Regarding Time And Charlie Watts’ Death
You know Cara Cunningham. You love her. You may remember her from the cinematic masterpiece “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE.” Well, Cara came out as trans and has begun her transition, and we couldn’t be happier for her! While coming out as trans is a huge accomplishment, and should be a moment of pride, we also know… Continue reading LGBTQ Community’s Preemptive Request: LEAVE CARA ALONE!
OPEN LETTER: Hey, Frank, we were watching you speed-run through the Cayo Perico heist on GTA5: Online. And seriously that was some really good playing, but I gotta ask you one small favor. Can you please wear underwear next time? It’s not that I’m a prude or that you’re gross but it’s just that you… Continue reading HEY FRANK: We Know The Next Gen Graphics Are Amazing But Please Wear Underwear While Streaming
CITY NAME TBD, COUNTRY NAME TBD – Despite a very-much-active pandemic still raging, the worlds’ top athletes came together in Tokyo for the Olympic Games, which ended Sunday. The event proved to be a successful two weeks for the LGBTQ community! The news was filled with headlines highlighting the accomplishments of the queer community –… Continue reading BREAKING: Queer Community Forms Sovereign Nation, Plans to Compete in 2024 Olympics
