WASHINGTON, DC- As more and more arrests and prosecutions occur stemming from right wing extremists storming the Capitol on January 6th, details about the FBI investigation are coming out as well. Transcripts reveal monitoring of left-wing social media in the aftermath of the incident, but only appear to have produced leads in the form of… Continue reading FBI Investigated Catgirl Participation in Capitol Insurrection
MILWAUKEE–In the wake of Demi Lovato coming out as non-binary and asking to be referred to with “they/them” pronouns, many Queer and Ally Americans are having to explain what pronouns are to family members, coworkers, and those weirdos they sit next to on the bus. “Yeah, it’s been awkward,” says Ty Stone, who had to… Continue reading There’s Gold in Them/Their Pronouns
Voice dysphoria, or unease due to your voice not matching your gender identity, is a problem that affects many of us. Luckily, there’s lots of strategies out there. Here are some unconventional but effective methods (number 7 will change your life!) 1. Text to speech software 2. Having a cis person “interpret” everything for you… Continue reading 7 Unconventional Tips To Fight Voice Dysphoria
LOS ANGELES- As news comes out that comedian Ellen DeGeneres is ending her talkshow after its 19th season, the industry is already looking to see who is going to fill her place. But times are very different from when Ellen started her show, when she started employing a carefully cultivated appearance of niceness that now… Continue reading Is America Ready For An Openly Mean Lesbian Talkshow Host?
AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND- The transgender community around the world is simultaneously celebrating and girding whatever loins they have preparing for backlash as the first transgender woman qualifies for the Olympics. Laurel Hubbard, a world class weight-lifter, holds the weight of the entire transgender community on her shoulders. “It’s exciting, certainly, but I’m getting ready to… Continue reading Trans Community Goes “Yay” then “Oh, Crap”
Hi everyone, your favorite Cis aunty is back. I had to take a brief sabatical after my psychiatrist refused to refill my anxiety medication, but I’m back with some marijuana gummies and I’m better than ever. I took four during the SOTU just so I could get through seeing Ted Cruz’s face and I can’t… Continue reading Miss Gabby: Is My Butthole The Right Color?
TUCSON– Lawmakers in Arizona state recently approved legislation that requires students to get notes of parental permission before learning about sexual orientations. The stated intent is to prevent students from learning about queer people before their parents are ready. However, the bill is so poorly worded it leaves teachers unable to even mention heterosexual relationships.… Continue reading Parental Permission Required to Find Out Straight People Exist
KRASNIK– A Polish town that went “LGBT-Free” almost a year ago, is reversing course and declaring it’s desire to become “super gay”, after international backlash. “We were wrong; please stop boycotting us,” says a desperate Mayor who has seen international blowback threaten to bankrupt his turn. Mayor Wojciech Wilk, seen recently about town in a… Continue reading “LGBT-Free” Town Now Wants To Be Super Gay
WASHINGTON DC–Secretary of Transportation under the Biden administration, Pete Buttigieg set tongues wagging after saying Americans should be back “cruising by the summer.” Various Democratic spokespeople have been denying that he was talking about cruising as the term is meant the gay community, where men breeze through anonymous sex with other men, but instead was… Continue reading “I said what I said,” Says Pete Buttigieg
WAUKESHA, WI–Impressing himself and his roommate, local man Jake Hartely remembered to take his testosterone shot on time for the first time in two years. “I used to inject T every Sunday morning on the dot. Sometimes, I could feel my T levels dipping the day before the shot, and I’d feel like shit. But… Continue reading Local Man Remembers To Take Testosterone
