VULCAN, CANADA- Pop singer Demi Lovato recently, among other things, released a new line of vibrating sex toys called the “Demi Wand”. The vibrators, which retail for $79, and are suitable not only humans but also creatures from other planets who have traveled to Earth looking for freaky inter-species sex. However, this price point is… Continue reading Poor People Need to Fuck Extra-Terrestrials As Well
EUGENE, OR–Franklin Witt, 28, of Eugene, Oregon, has opinions about transgender women. And he is not afraid to say it. “Those trans activists have really gotten my suspenders twisted this time,” he says, looking up under the brim of his hat. “They are too loud and obnoxious. These men want to pee in women’s restrooms,… Continue reading Cis Man Says Things About Trans Women
SYRACUSE, NY–Citing new stressors, labor union Consolidated Fiends 203rd, is considering striking from their jobs. The union said that monsters demand better working conditions or they will walk off the job by mid July. “It’s quite disturbing, what some of our people go through. We have some creatures with PTSD from what they’ve seen going… Continue reading Monsters Under Bed Demand Better Working Conditions
CHICAGO–Sharing a desire to return to normal, in some communities vaccinations are now seen as a way to re-enter the dating and casual sex scenes. Some partners are asking for evidence of vaccination, begging the question, “Are vaccinations licenses to fuck?” Nathan Price, a resident of Boystown, Chicago’s famed gay neighborhood, has seen an uptick… Continue reading Are COVID Vaccine Passports A “License To Fuck”?