We Hate Cancel Culture, Said People Who Love Cancel Culture

From NBC.

TOLEDO- “Cancel Culture” is a buzzword much in the news lately, as many conservatives denounce it. We spoke with many locals about their take on Cancel Culture, all of whom were gathered at their local Chic-fil-A as part of a weekly tradition to “own the libs”.

“I just think people are too sensitive these days,” said Mary Jackson-Johnston, a local mother who pulled her children out of a public school after the teacher read a book about gay penguins. “We’re cancelling Dr. Suess now? Where does it end?” She continued, with no apparent sense of irony.

“I want my children exposed to a multitude of different opinions, even if some of those opinions make us uncomfortable,” said Don Smithson, who stopped eating Cheerios after they featured a biracial couple in an ad.

“I think it’s disgusting what happened to Gina Carano, a lovely woman who is being punished for speaking her mind,” said George Perkins, a local burger-truck owner who bullies trans women off of Twitter in his fun time.

“Where’s the line? Next thing they are going to say the founding fathers were racist, can you imagine?” Replied local carpenter Smith Ericson, who has never read anything about the constitution because he thinks education makes people gay.

“Why can’t a rabbit be sexy?” Added local grandfather Max Samson, who seems to forget how he wouldn’t let his children see the original Space Jam over how many tattoos NBA players have. “And if the skunk is a little rape-y, who is that really hurting? Not me.” He concluded, as he cleaned off mayo from his chin.