Ten Travel Destinations in the Pandemic


2021 is already in full swing and many of us are getting tired of staying home. If you’re not, you’re already going out and you’re a bad person and should feel bad.

Studies and our social media feeds have shown staying home can be bad for mental health.

How can you satisfy wanderlust without exposing yourself and others to COVID? And on a budget?

We here at Queer Coded have amassed a list of the top COVID-responsible, budget-friendly, practical vacations you can take after you’re done reading.


1. Camping

Commune with nature. Get out your sleeping bags and hammocks, and drive to the furthest out there point you can reach. No not that far. That’s the ocean. Don’t be silly. Enjoy bugs, food poisoning, spotty Wi-Fi, and knowing how long it would take for people to find out if you ran into an axe murderer.

Abandoned building

2. That Creepy Abandoned Mall

Take loads of pretentious “urban decay” photographs as you trespass in places you’re not technically allowed, virtually guaranteed not to run into anyone else. Spout long diatribes about the fall of capitalism on your Instagram, and feel like you’re making something beautiful out of nothing. At least it won’t cost you anything!


3. Go To An All-Night Laundromat

Nothing beats feeling like a responsible adult by washing your bedding at 3 a.m. Some laundromats have WiFi now! Or free coffee! Or “gaming,” which is just gambling outside of Nevada. It’s truly the amusement park of the “You’re An Adult,” era.

Ethnic grocery store

4. Ethnic Grocery Stores

Depressed that no countries are letting Americans? Worried about being outed on Instagram for not following Covid restrictions? The sights and sounds of going abroad are as close as your local Hispanic, Asian, Eastern European, or other food markets! Listen to languages you don’t understand and look at products whose names you can’t read. Buy several things to see what they are! You may discover some strange and wonderful delights or accidentally buy two pounds of dried chicken feet. Don’t feel bad; most of the world thinks our food is weird, too. And they’re right.

Car wash

5. Get A Car Wash

Pretend you have autopilot in your Toyota and feel the floor rollers move your car. glide over your vehicle as you let the floor rollers move the car for you. Blast your music while $17.50 in quarters converts into hot blasts of wax you didn’t need. Need companionship? Bring your pets! They will love it! The automated scrubbing brushes look kind of like fettuccini. You like fettuccini. The soap suggests an alfredo sauce. When was the last time you had good fettuccini alfredo? Oh god you miss going out to good Italian restaurants, like, Olive garden.


6. Stay Home And Watching “90 Day Fiancé – The Other Way”

You think travel is a great thing for everyone? Hardly. Watching Americans foolishly move abroad to live with foreigners without preparing at all. Watch the selfish Americans and their never ending complaining and stubbornness. Indulge in the schadenfreude that you didn’t mess up your life and be broadcasted on basic cable. Feel superior thinking queer people wouldn’t be as stupid as the straight people who are nearly all the couples. Maybe even learn about a foreign custom or two while the shit show goes down. Can you swear in Russian? I can now!


7. Lock Yourself In The Bathtub For Eight Hours

Ain’t no time like pandemic bathroom time. You’ve spent time in there, regretting a culinary experiment, crying your eyes out. But this time, lean into it. Candles, bath bombs, relaxing music, a bottle of wine or absinthe, Disney + on your phone. The works. If you share a bathroom, don’t warn them ahead of time, make them pee in front of you! Let the pruning begin!

Parking lot

8. Lurk In Starbucks’ Parking Lot

Don’t buy anything; just use their WiFi. Your home internet has hit its cap early this month, so….


9. Psychedelic Mushrooms

Unlock your mind and the universe and never leave your apartment! This incredibly eco-friendly and budget conscious as well doesn’t contribute greenhouse gasses and doesn’t burn fossil fuels. It’s all natural, too, so you can be haughty and bold and claim that you are just living an organic life, man, while you really just are kind of scared that acid is a little too much for you.


10. Change Genders

You will win any “How much introspection did you do in quarantine?” argument. And besides, wouldn’t you much rather get outed as YOURSELF rather than outed as the dumbass that went to Puerto Vallarta during a pandemic? You already don’t wear the “proper” clothes during the Zoom meetings. It’s fine. It’s fine. Do it. Join the trans mafia. We have cookies. In the web browser you’re using now. Okay. We mostly have bad puns.