Local Cis Man Praised For Doing Bare Minimum

WAUKASHA, WISCONSIN–In a previously unseen level of ally ship, a local Wisconsin man is gathering accolades for calling a trans woman a woman. “I mean, I guess she would know best what is going on in her head,” Marvin Johnson said in a conference call with GLADD and other LGB advocacy organizations. “I mean, what else would I do? Be a dick?”

Spokesman from Human Resource Council, Kert L Gammon, said, “The acceptance of a trans woman by a man in the Heartland of America is a landmark occurrence.” HRC voiced their intentions to reward Johnson with a respected award.

“Oh, wow. Thanks. I had no idea that not being a dick to someone was all it took to be rewarded so handsomely.”

The love came from both smaller groups as well as famous celebrities.

“I would like to welcome to my ally brother,” said Pedro Pascal, star of The Mandalorian and Wonder Woman 1984 said. “I mean, with my sister: she couldn’t have picked a better time to come out. Now people are talking about her and not Wonder Woman 1984.” He continued, “Of course, I would rather they be talking about me, which is why I am trying really hard to be a super good ally. And also why her name isn’t usually in the headline.”

As far as names, that resonated with Johnson. The trans woman that he gendered correctly could not be reached for comment. “I mean I don’t know her name,” Johnson said. “I just said she was hot.”

The conference call burst into applause. “Incredible,” Gammon said. “A consistent and ready ally for our community.”