News Shorts

Iowa Republicans Seek to Ban Discussing Transgender People in Schools and the Class Prankster is THRILLED

DAVENPORT, IOWA–A new bill from Iowa legislatures seeks to ban the discussion of transgender people in schools, and local class clown and trans student Jax Sharma couldn’t be happier.

Often under scrutiny for their pranks and antics, ranging from basic TP-ing to full-on arson, Jax is hoping this bill passes both chambers so that they can, “totally destroy this building, maybe with hot fudge or something,” without getting in trouble.

While the bill has not officially passed, some school districts have already taken on the burden of not acknowledging trans folks as they are in Iowa. According to the bill, “teachers wouldn’t be able to mention that transgender people exist, even if there is a transgender student in the classroom.” Some said a sense of dread filled their school as Jax’s pranks become more outlandish.

Speaking under the condition of anonymity, a teacher at Jax’s school commented, “Jax ran amok through the school breaking and emptying vending machines just last week. Principal Damen couldn’t do anything stop Jax from feeding all the class pets Funyons, including the reptiles. Snakes can’t eat Funyons. But I can, and I didn’t even get any.”

No disciplinary action was taken as the teachers and staff are strictly prohibited from addressing transgender people under any circumstance. When asked what plans they had to address these dangerous attempts at humor, district officials replied that they are trying to find a compromise that incorporates disciplining the student, while also not acknowledging the student with humanity and accuracy.

When reached for comment, Jax simply replied “I do not wish to be seen by the state of Iowa,” and they have no comment on the bubbles in the school courtyard’s fountain.