Homophobes Spread the Misery All Around

DUBLIN- Ex-journalist and current ‘activist’ Gemma O’Doherty, 52, who’s gained a reputation for being a science denier and a conspiracy theorist, is adding homophobe to her resumé of awful. She made waves on the internet when proclaiming every gay person she’s ever met as being ‘miserable.’ Happy queer people sharing smiling pictures of their lives has become the standard response so far, but questions remain about why every gay person in Ms. O’Doherty’s life is so unhappy.

“Well, I can’t speak for everyone else in her life, but I know it isn’t exactly the highlight of my week when I see (Gemma),” says Flynn Finnegan, O’Doherty’s second cousin on her mother’s side. “I mean, I had to block her on Facebook because she kept talking about vaccines have microchips in them. Have you tried actually listening to her blather on for any period of time? It’s enough to make anyone, gay or straight, want to hurt themselves.”

Ms. O’Doherty’s video also has her calling the “homosexual lifestyle” “Promiscuous” and “dark”. “I don’t know why she thinks all gay people are promiscuous,” Adds Finnegan, “but I guarantee she’s being around more than I have. The dark thing, well, that might be on me. I wore eye liner around her on the way to a Rocky Horror showing, that’s probably the most radical thing she’s ever seen.”

Attempts to find other queer people in O’Doherty’s life mainly find her hair stylist and a barista at her local coffee shop, both of whom report O’Doherty to be an awful tipper.