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Home Depot to Partner With J.K. Rowling To Provide “Turfs for TERFs”

Home improvement store Home Depot has announced a partnership with noted author J.K. Rowling to provide grass/sod samples for a specific subset of her fans and supporters. The “Turfs for TERFs” initiative is intended to show solidarity between Home Depot and the anti-LGBT movement. Home Depot donated $1,825,500 to 111 anti-gay politicians in 2017-2018.

“We’re excited to open up home improvement to a whole new house at Hogwarts. The house of  home improvement.”

TruGrass Emerald Turf 6

This is what we in the industry like to call a starter turf, kind of like intentionally equating sex and gender is for starter TERFs.”

Emerald Turf closely resembles natural grass, unlike J.K. Rowling’s transphobia which does not in any way resemble feminism.

At $1.89 per sq foot, it’s a real steal, unlike trans women “stealing” women’s spaces, which is not actually a thing.

Gotta Go Grass by Bethel

  Pet owners and followers of Rowling’s Twitter know that a certain level of urine and feces is unavoidable! This veterinarian approved grass substitute is great because safety is of the utmost importance to everyone.” 

Gotta Go Grass is not a substitute for daily walks and exercise for your dog, much like fake concern about “de-transitioning” is not a substitute for feminism.

$49.99 for a 2 pack because, unlike gender, this product only comes in 2s.

Bermuda Plugs, 64 Count

“‘People who menstruate.’ I’m sure there used to be a word for those people. Someone help me out. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud?”

That wasn’t just a middle-aged moment. The word she was trying to remember was “Bermuda,” as in “Bermuda plugs 64 Count.”

These Sod Pods offer high quality turf that coordinates with high quality TERFdom.

A deal at $99.98 per pod, perfect to bury her shit opinions before saying them out loud next time.

Pink Blend Artificial Fun Grass!

“It pink and pink for wumben blue for boy only wimbum have vagina, boy bagina make me anger,” Rowling said.

THIS is real feminism! It even matches the hats worn at Women’s Marches.

A 4 ft. x 6 ft. section of Artificial Grass Carpet is a fun splash of color at $2.23 per square foot.