Lifestyle · Music

Breaking: Trans Editor-in-Chief Misgenders Utada Hikaru, Kills Self


Utada Hikaru
Credit: kuma_power on Instagram

SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDWEST- The trans Editor-in-Chief of Queercoded, an up and coming LGBTQ humor website, has killed herself in shame after accidentally misgendering Japanese pop singer Utada Hikaru. This comes after Utada recently came out as non-binary on Instagram Live, creating waves through the queer J-Pop fandom. This lead to a Queercoded associated editor to have to explain to the editor-in-chief just who Utada is, and why this is important and newsworthy, which lead to a brief moment where the editor-in-chief said “she” in regards to the singer. Not being able to carry the shame of misgendering any non-binary person, she killed herself in what has been described as a ritualistic manner.

Utada, known widely to fans as “Hikki”, is known in Japan as having released the best selling album of all time in their country. They are largely known in the US for singing the theme songs to several video games and anime, because that’s all people in the US pay attention to about Japan. The singer previously posted they are “not straight”, and now posted a video primarily explaining how their giant teddy bear Kuma-Chan is a gay man [Ed. – yes, for real] that concludes with casually stating they are non-binary.

This is the gay bear. Though, aren’t most bears gay?

An Associate Editor for Queercoded, who recently came out as a recovering weaboo, soon after was explaining the impact of such a huge figure in such a relatively conservative society coming out as NB the the Editor-in-chief. Terms such as “monumental” and “eye opening” were thrown around. There may have been singing of Utada’s song “You Make Me Want To Be A Man.” The Editor-in-chief then said she was okay with making an article about the coming out, as the more niche stories seen to get more shares, and that’s the ultimate goal, right? But then she made the (soon-to-be) fatal mistake of calling Utada “she”, which just about undos all the good ever done by this website.

The editor-in-chief was then found several ours later dead, of an appearant progesterone overdose, as a nearby speaker blasted Utada’s hit song “Simple and Clean”.

Enough of just about anything can kill you

Public service disclaimer: it’s unknown yet what pronouns Utada wants fans using in English as of yet; not all non-binary people go by “they”; and killing yourself after misgendering someone is probably a bit overkill.