“You Can’t Even Tell Jokes Now” Says Man Who Couldn’t Tell Jokes Before

SAN FRANCISCO–The artform and social experience of comedy, a celebration of the surprising and absurd which has been a part of human behavior for all of its recorded history, was declared officially dead today by Kevin Miller, a 26 year old engineer who has never participated in it.

“Wow, I guess you’re not allowed to tell jokes any more,” Miller, a man who, to anyone else’s knowledge, has never told jokes, announced on his personal Twitter.“You used to be able to just joke about anything,”

Miller, who has never shown the ability to joke about anything, explained in an interview. “But now that’s not over. RIP comedy.”It was not clear at the time of interview how Miller knew this, or indeed, how he personally was able to tell the difference at all.“Wow, comedy’s over now?” commented Lauren Niles, who knows Miller from work. “That’ll be a huge change for everybody except for Kevin.”

Joseph Lincoln, another work friend, elaborated. “Does Kevin have a sense of humor? Well, not in the traditional sense, no. But sometimes he’s sort of mean for no reason and then smiles, so that might be kind of like humor.”

“Or maybe he’s just mean and happy about it,” Lincoln added.

When asked about his previous, non-existent, experience with comedy, Miller said “Well, I’m just sort of a twisted person. I mean, there’s a dark side to me, but at the end, I’m just a little bit wild. Other people have to learn that’s just Kevin being Kevin, you know.” It was unclear whether, or in what way, this was meant to answer the question.

“Well, I haven’t noticed jokes ending,” said comedian Janelle Winters, a person who has previously produced comedy. “But if it does, I’ll be glad to have men like Kevin Miller to lead us all through living life without humor.”