News Shorts

Jenner–“Voting is for Suckers!”

Caitlyn Jenner

SACRAMENTO, CA–Caitlyn Jenner, hoping to persuade people to vote for her, says claimed that she helped defeat the soviets and that “Voting is for suckers.”

Despite records showing she voted, Jenner told reporters that there wasn’t anything worth voting for. No people anywhere on the ballot in 2020 were worth it, nor any ballot measures that meant anything to people like her: vastly wealthy narcissists.

“Basically, voting is a waste of time,” she said. “By the way, I’m running for Governor, so vote for me.”

When confronted by records that show she did indeed vote by mail in the 2020 election, she said, “I don’t know, maybe? Who has time to keep track of unimportant stuff like that? It isn’t like I follow any of the issues.” She continued, “But of course, I have plenty of ideas for when I’m governor. For example, I think California shouldn’t have a gift tax or an inheritance tax.”

California had repealed these in 1982. When Queer Coded reporters told her this, she said, “Well, I didn’t live here then.”

When it was pointed out that Jenner had lived in California since 1973, she again stated, “Well, I can’t keep track of everything. I don’t know, maybe a law limiting liability in vehicular manslaughter cases?”

After a long, awkward silence, she said again about her vote in 2020, “I told you, voting is for suckers. I just went to play golf. With women. Because I’m a wealthy adult, so I can compete against who I want. But other trans people shouldn’t play any sports though. It just isn’t fair to them.”