AUSTIN, TX–Signaling a major step towards the re-criminalization of homosexuality in the state, Tennessee lawmakers completed drafting of the No Child Left To Gays Act. The act would allow for the removal of children from homes headed by LGBTQ parents; it redefines “child abuse” to include being raised in a home with “sex congruent household,”… Continue reading Bill To Remove Kids From LGBT Parents Clears Hurdle
KRASNIK– A Polish town that went “LGBT-Free” almost a year ago, is reversing course and declaring it’s desire to become “super gay”, after international backlash. “We were wrong; please stop boycotting us,” says a desperate Mayor who has seen international blowback threaten to bankrupt his turn. Mayor Wojciech Wilk, seen recently about town in a… Continue reading “LGBT-Free” Town Now Wants To Be Super Gay
CHICAGO–Sharing a desire to return to normal, in some communities vaccinations are now seen as a way to re-enter the dating and casual sex scenes. Some partners are asking for evidence of vaccination, begging the question, “Are vaccinations licenses to fuck?” Nathan Price, a resident of Boystown, Chicago’s famed gay neighborhood, has seen an uptick… Continue reading Are COVID Vaccine Passports A “License To Fuck”?
WASHINGTON DC–Secretary of Transportation under the Biden administration, Pete Buttigieg set tongues wagging after saying Americans should be back “cruising by the summer.” Various Democratic spokespeople have been denying that he was talking about cruising as the term is meant the gay community, where men breeze through anonymous sex with other men, but instead was… Continue reading “I said what I said,” Says Pete Buttigieg
LITTLE ROCK, AR–Nikki Jackson, 9, of Springfield had been following the Mili Hernandez incident–where an 8 year old girl was accused of “being a boy” during a soccer tournament and removed from the game–when she had an idea. She decided she would use her parents’ and coach’s fear to win their soccer tournament. She said… Continue reading Breaking: Youth Soccer Player Exploits Gender Loophole For Victory
Transgender Neo-Nazi Taylor Parker-Dipeppe pleaded guilty last year to federal charges over his involvement in a harassment campaign, however a judge has let him loose because “he’s suffered enough.” What Say You?
WAUKESHA, WI–Impressing himself and his roommate, local man Jake Hartely remembered to take his testosterone shot on time for the first time in two years. “I used to inject T every Sunday morning on the dot. Sometimes, I could feel my T levels dipping the day before the shot, and I’d feel like shit. But… Continue reading Local Man Remembers To Take Testosterone
DARBY, MT–In the wake of several mass shootings in a short period of time, the gun control conversation is happening and conservatives are NOT happy! According to conservatives everywhere, the government is coming for their guns, but like, for real this time? Local gun owner Brock Novack has had enough of the federal tyranny. “The… Continue reading “Taking My Guns is an Authoritarian Overstep,” says Republican Who Wants to Legislate Where People Can and Can’t Pee
CANCUN–Prior to mourning the death of 2 pilots, the counter for “Days Since Fatal Gender Reveal Accident” has been reset to 0. In Cancun on Monday, two pilots plunged into the waters of the Caribbean Sea during a party where the pregnant couple revealed the genital configuration of their fetus. The couple, who again hired… Continue reading Days Since Fatal Gender Reveal Party Counter Reset To 0
♓ Pisces (Fish): February 19–March 20 It’s all going to work out. Happy April Fool’s Day. ♈ Aries (Ram): March 21–April 19 It’s all going to work out. Happy April Fool’s Day. ♉ Taurus (Bull): April 20–May 20 It’s all going to work out. Happy April Fool’s Day. ♊ Gemini (Twins): May 21–June 21 It’s… Continue reading Homoscopes For April, 2021
